Two And A Half Gods
by Captain Vulcan
Summary: There's turbulence among the gods of the Moriya Shrine. Kanako and Sanae gets into a heated dispute, and faith in the gods are suddenly diminishing at an alarming rate. Meanwhile, Suwako travels down memory lane back to when she ruled the lands.
1. Prologue

I never thought that I would write a Touhou fic. Oh well...

**STORY RATING: PG-13/T For Teens. **The story you are about to read contains mild language; crudeness/innuendo; comic mischief; use of drugs/alcohol and random references.

**DISCLAIMER:** The Touhou Project is the rightful property of Zun of Shanghai Alice. Though my knowledge of Touhou is limited, I do know that is has a colossal fan-base. This is just a piece of fan work from a relatively new fan.

**TOUHOU PROJECT**

**2 AND A HALF GODS**

**PROLOUGUE**

It's another beautiful day at the Moriya Shrine. The skies were pretty and cloudless. The woodland creatures were going on with their business without a care in (or about) the world. An attractive young woman was merrily attending her daily chores at the shrine. This is the stuff that happy fairy tales are made of. The earliest Disney animated films would be green with envy of this prologue. Of course, we may have to survey the woman-child's 'merriment' a little closer.

_By the gods, this is boring! _

Unfortunately, looks can be deceiving and such silly little fairy tales are transient.

_I love my ancestor, but everyday is the same thing at this shrine, _the main character of this story thought while sweeping fallen leaves into a pile. _Where is Kanako-sama when you need her? I can surely go for another round of youkai extermination right about now. _Sanae was nineteen years of age and she still lived with her great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great... great... great... great... great... great-grandmother.

That was long winded. Okay, for simplicity let's just go with great-grandmother times twenty plus. Or how about divine ancestor? To be honest, the latter sounded much cooler. And speaking of the said ancestor...

"I'm telling you guys, I'm Suwako Moriya, the goddess of this shrine!" The little blonde girl wearing a dress with a frog motif sang. "Honest! Ya know, 'Highest of The Native Gods', 'Amphibian Deity' and other cool sounding high and mighty shit like that." Little Suwako was standing on a cardboard box, preaching to four children.

"You gotta be joking," a long haired twelve year old boy remarked. "You look like a ten year old."

"Hey, watch your mouth kid!" Sawako fumed. Even that hat of hers seems affronted by the child's remark.

"I have to agree with my little brother," A fourteen year old girl with long hime-styled hair stated. She was the oldest of the group of kids. "If you are a goddess then it's kinda hard to take you seriously."

"Listen here lil'mama," Suwako spat with a funny face. "When you make a donation to this shrine, you make a donation to me. And when you pray at this shrine, you're praying to me."

"Are you Kermit the Frog's friend?" The third child asked innocently. He was eight.

"Gaaahh... yaah..." the fourth child was a seven month old infant. She was being carried in the arms of the oldest child.

"Well, maybe you can prove to us that you're a goddess," The oldest child suggested. "I, my little brother, and my little cousins here visited this shrine three times this month with Miss Keine's guidance. I donate money and I pray here a lot."

"Oh, you sure are right about praying here," a grin formed on Suwako's face. "You better believe that I listen to em' too. Once, you prayed for gaining the affections of an older boy that lives in your village." The young girl eyes widened in surprise and the little goddess' grin widened with mischief.

Sanae heard her ancestor's claim and sighed. _That wasn't nice. You shouldn't put that girl in the spotlight like that, Suwako-sama. You even cussed in front of them._

"Plus, you really admire my lovely descendent of mine whose sweeping leaves over there," the frog goddess indicated at Sanae. "You think of her as a role-model and you hope to have a figure like hers when you grow up- boobs and all."

"HEY!" Sanae glowed bright red in color.

The girl's mouth hung open. "Wow!"

"As for the little man right here," she focused on the girl's younger brother. "The last time you prayed here you hoped that you could somehow get your hands on your uncle's adult doujinshi game collection that he brought from Kourindou's..." she paused for a moment in recollection."... and you want the latest _Family Guy _DVD box set for your upcoming birthday."

Now it was the twelve year old's turn to be stupefied. "Dang."

Suwako's grin was victorious. "I told you guys that I'm a goddess. Tell me that I'm wrong. How's your faith in me now?"

"Moriya-sama that would be enough for today," Sanae said as she approached the group. She had a smile on her face but deep down inside she was very annoyed by her ancestor's shenanigans. Sanae was sure to have a word with the little goddess later. She bowed before the children. "Thank you very much for visiting us today. May the gods bless you for countless days."

"Yeah, I got ya back," Suwako followed as she placed her hands on her hips dramatically. "All you have to do is believe in me. If ya don't have faith in me or any of the gods for that matter, you may as well be looking forward to an early appointment with Shikieiki."

"Moriya-sama!" Sanae shrieked. "Don't try to scare them!" Her ascendant really shouldn't be talking about the said yama to little children. Shikieiki may appear to be a frilly little loli with an enormous responsibility and a deep voice, but she is indeed one of the most intimidating beings in the fandom.

"Heh, I was just kidding around with them," the child-goddess giggled. "I mean, c'mon, who would believe that after someone die that person will get to be judged by a young woman with a thigh-highs fetish that basically gives out road maps to Hell?" She scratched her head with a sheepish chuckle and the children quickly dismiss themselves. The children gathered around their escort, the Human Village's sentry, Keine Kamishirasawa. The said history teacher gave the Moriya inhabitants a courteous bow before heading back towards the village.

"You're impossible..." Sanae muttered. "The Judge of Paradise is the last thing you should be talking about to those kids."

"Eh!" Suwako wondered in fascination. "Is that what people are calling her now. Wow... over the eons she has been known by many _many_ names: 'The Garish Yama With Magnificent Legs', 'Beautiful Gate of Oblivion', 'The Judge Even Pheonix Wright Fear', 'Highway To Hell', 'Conviction! Conviction!', 'The Rapping-Rhyming Magistrate of Damnation' and..."

**MEANWHILE IN HIGAN...**

"Hell... hell... purgatory... hell... hell... hell..." Shiki spoke in monotone while filing paperwork of countless souls of the deceased. Today was busy (as always), and she has just well over a hundred thousand souls to arbitrate in merely two hours into her shift. "Purgatory... hell... hell... heaven... hell... hell... reincarnation..." She suddenly sneezed. "Achoo!"

"Gesundheit," the regard came from her subordinate, Komachi Onozuka.

"Thank you." The otherworldly jurist nodded with a sniff. "There's someone in the mortal realm talking about me right now."

The well-endowed ferryman pause the gameplay on her Nintendo DS. "Ya don't say...?" _Tch._ _You should not be at all surprised, Shiki. Your reputation is hugely known in darn near any realm._

"Meh," Shiki Eiki shrugged and resumed her work. "It's just another day in Paradise. Okay, let's keep it moving people. Eternity awaits. Heaven... hell... hell... hell... hell... reincarnation... Oh, you're break's over in another minute, Komachi. Shouldn't you be on your way back to the river?"

_Darn it! _Komachi thought with a sigh of defeat. _At this rate, I'll never beat Contra 4 on Hard mode._

**BACK AT THE MORIYA SHRINE...**

"Yeah, that Shiki is some piece of work," Suwako giggled as she went inside the shrine. Her granddaughter followed along. "Once, I heard that she sent an entire civilization to hell. Heck, it was her that doomed the dinosaurs."

"Hmm... being a Yama must be an extraordinarily tough job." Sanae said warily as she took off her sandals. "I wonder if deep regret courses through her sometimes..."

"Shoot, that girl enjoys her job immensely," Suwako remarked with a roll of her eyes. "She's been doing the job so long I guess that she can't help it but to enjoy it."

The amphibian deity's statement brought consternation on her descendant's face. "That was... a pretty odd thing to say. Maybe there are some things in this world and the next that one shouldn't dwell on about."

"You're right about that, granddaughter." Suawako said as she makes her way towards the kitchen. "I'm going to brew some tea. Turn on the television and let me know if anything interesting on it today."

Sanae's eyes lit up with stars in them. "That's right. Maybe I can catch a rerun of last week's episode of _K-ON! _or _Amagami_ _SS_."

Suwako gave her descendant a look. She wasn't exactly big on watching anime shows. Actually, when it comes to television she prefers soap operas, crime dramas, and American sitcoms. However, she was familiar with said anime. "Wait... those shows are still airing?"

"Are you kidding?" The Moriya miko gave the little goddess a look of disbelief. "They're practically two of the hottest anime on air right now. And they're in demand too. There's a movie in the works and an extra arc that has recently been confirmed. Respectively."

_Well she sure is excited about the news, _Suwako sighed. _Welp... I wonder where Kanako has gone off to. She knows that I'm going to make tea today and knowing her, she loves my tea. I guess she's going to do a little overtime in gather faith. _

Suwako gazed outside the front door and noticed a couple of dark clouds over the horizon. _Or not..._ _What is that girl up to now? I hope you're not up to something crazy again, Kanako._

**MYOUREN TEMPLE**

Shou Toramaru watched the scenario before her in interest. Two girls were bickering amongst one another over... something trivial. At least, that's what the tiger youkai thought. She stood with her akimbo underneath the tori entrance of the temple with a look of interest. Shou was perhaps (at least in the author's opinion) the most boyish of all the women in the fandom. She was rather tall, standing at an impressive five feet ten inches in height. The Bishamonten disciple was dressed in a burgundy and ginger colored robe. A tiger pattered sash was adorned on around her waist- which is fitting due to the fact that she's a tiger creature. Her golden hair is short but thick, and there's an ornament that's shaped like a lotus on her head. She was a stern woman but right now she couldn't help but grin at the two individuals at the bottom of the temple stairs.

"I found it first, Nue!" The first female disputed. A cute creature with mouse ears on her head. "It was wondering around the wilderness all day."

"Oh yea? This little cretin's still alive?" The second girl droned. This chic young woman was a nue, a very legendary and fearsome creature in Japanese myths. Coincidentally, Nue was also her name. Sleek and sexy, the nue said "I'm surprised the pup's not in a youkai's digestive system by now." Suddenly, a mischievous grin etched on her face. "You know what, Nazrin? Maybe we can have him as a snack. I've heard from a few youkai mentioning that stray dogs are delicious. And I've never tasted dog before. So what do ya say?"

Nazrin blanched in horror at Nue's proposal. "Ew! No! I'm not letting you harm this little guy... er, girl?" Nazrin scrutinized the puppy in her arms. The only thing she was certain about the baby canine was that it was a foreign breed. "At least... I think it's a girl."

"Well, take a look underneath the mutt and find out what gender it is," Nue suggested succinctly.

"No way!" Nazrin retorted. "You might as well tell me to violate the poor thing."

"Hey," Shou spoke at last, gathering Nazrin and Nue's attention. "Maybe we could let Anee-san help us find out what species of dog it is."

"Are you sure about that, Shou?" Nazrin wondered while holding the puppy like a infant human child. "I don't think we should interrupt her right now. She's been meditating for hours."

"Tch. You wanna worry Hijiri just to know what the hell kind of species this mutt is?" Nue scoffed. "Nazrin, if you would have come up to me with this bull crap, I would have to kick your dowsing ass."

The cute mouse youkai began mean-mugging the alluring nue. "You know what; it's just like you to be difficult about the simplest of things. If it was up to me, I would have kicked you out the temple a long time ago." Nazrin and Nue stood mere inches apart, electricity crackling between their glares.

"Girls! Girls! Girls!" Shou giggled sheepishly. She really didn't want to be caught up between another one of their bouts. "All this animosity between you two over a puppy? C'mon now, if Anee-san catches you two fighting again..."

"The dog's a male," a new voice said. It was a woman's voice. The tone was a smooth alto and jazzy. "And I believe that he's a North American Husky."

"It's you," Shou acknowledged the visitor. The new comer was a rather voluptuous female that was dressed in crimson and black. Her puffy violet hair breezed along with the wind. Oddly enough, there was a mirror on the center of her shirt along with a giant knotted rope on her back. These adornments however, seem to enhance her already magnificent presence. The woman was tall, almost even with Shou in height. "What brings you here today, Lady Kanako?"

The storm goddess gave the Myouren girls a gracious bow. "I would like to speak with Byakuren-san. Will you grant me this request?"

Nue gazed at the goddess for a long moment, and then a memory dawned on her. "Hey, if I'm not mistaken, you're the mother of the girl that goes by the name Sanae Kochiya."

Kanako diverted her attention to Nue. "Yes I am... in a sense."

Nue didn't like how the goddess' pearls jiggled with the slightest motion. Breast envy, much? "You... you've created a monster!" She exclaimed.

Nazrin decided to put aside her dispute with Nue and joined the said youkai in antagonizing Kanako. "Umm-hmm!" She nodded vigorously.

Kanako lifted a brow. "Excuse me?"

"She kicked this thing to the curb," Nue indicated towards Nazrin. In turn, Nazrin gave Nue the middle finger. "She revels in bullying poor Kogasa and she was completely merciless against me. What's worse, she doesn't even fear the unknown. Do you have any idea of how irritating that is?"

Kanako gave off a musical chuckle. "My... it appears that my child has build herself quite a reputation." She noticed that Nazrin and Nue's eyebrows were check-marks. "My apologies, ladies. The girl doesn't know her strength sometimes."

Nazrin pouted. Nue placed her hand on her forehead with a sigh. "That doesn't surprise me at all, Lady Kanako," said Shou. "Your reputation was even revered back on the continent. Isn't your disciple- Sanae, right? Isn't she a mortal god?"

Kanako nodded. The tiger youkai was well-traveled and knowledgeable. "Sanae is powerful, of course. However, we all know humans often overestimate themselves. This is also true of my child. She does believe that she is a goddess since she managed to obtain a victory over the Hakurei miko in a training duel. It was a tough victory but a victory none the less."

The Hakurei name rang familiar to the three Myouren youkai. "I see." Shou contemplated. "I remember encountering the red-white priestess. She helped us broke Anee-san's seal."

Nue had a blasé expression on her face. "Okay, so... what do you need to speak to Hijiri about anyway?"

"It's just a little something that's been roaming in my mind for a while now." Kanako replied, hoping that Nue wouldn't make the foolish mistake of challenging her. For a legendary monster, Nue was rather voguish and modern looking. Plus, the svelte monster had heart. Kanako was really starting to like this girl. "Nothing major, and it will not take much of her time."

"Well isn't this an interesting turn of events?" Said a dulcet voice. "Interesting indeed..."

With collective gasps, the trio of youkai whipped their visage towards the temple entrance. There stood Byakuren Hijiri, magician, youkai savior, and arguably the most beautiful woman in Gensokyou. She was a majestic specimen of the female species. She stood roughly five feet six inches tall and her body mass bore wonderful curves. Her gradient violet/brown hair was long and wavy. The superhuman wore a black and white frock that reaches her knees. Interesting thing about the dress was the way the torso of it hugged her chest with straps similar to a corset. If one can ignore her bountiful figure for a moment, you can see that she also wore a cape.

"Anee-san," Shou acknowledged her benefactor. "You have a visitor today."

"It's a lovely day, is it not, Yasaka-sama?" Byakuren beamed warmly.

"Agreed, child." Kanako replied in kind. By Kanako referring to Byakuren as child, is... rather fitting. After all, Byakuren may be around roughly a thousand years old, Kanako was still more than twice her age. "I'm certainly glad that I decided not to brew a rain shower today."

"This is rare, Lady-Kanako." Byakuren clasped her hands together in delight. "One of the most revered of the eight million gods... here at our doorsteps. It's truly an honor. Why won't you come inside?" She indicated towards the entrance of the temple.

Noticing Hijiri's open friendliness toward the storm goddess, Nue grew a tad upset about it. "Hijiri! What are you doing? What if that mean ol' priestess of hers decides to come over here to look for her?"

"Don't worry about it," Kanako answered reassuringly. "Sanae didn't mean any harm. The scuffle between you guys was a big misunderstanding."

"A big misunderstanding?" Nue repeated the goddess' words in disbelief. "That girl nearly crippled us. Hell, Kogasa still cries like a baby about the beating from her even to this day." After Nue's complaint, the puppy in Nazrin's arms decide to hop to the ground. The baby dog seemed to move around in urgency. After a moment, Nue felt something wet trickled on her left leg. "What the hell! You little furry son of a-"

Nazrin interrupted, "Well it is a dog, so that would make his mother a bitch."

Nue shook her shapely leg furiously in disgust. "I guess that term applies to female mouse youkai as well."

Nazrin gritted her teeth in a rage. "Why you little...!" In the blink of an eye, both Nazrin and Nue transformed into a huge cloud of dust- complete with swinging limbs, comic book effects, and numerous insulting cuss words.

Shou and Kanako proceeded to put an end to the fight. Byakuren sighed sadly while stroking the puppy that just hopped into her arms. _Humans fight amongst one another. Youkai does the same. Humans and youkai kill each other when the opportunity presents itself. Some things never change._

**MORIYA SHRINE**

Sanae was staring intensely at the LCD high-def television set before her eyes. Every minute or two, she would inch closer and closer to the screen. Whatever Sanae was watching must have been a hell of a good program. The young godling was blushing in anticipation. "Oooh!"

Suwako, on the other hand, didn't have the same sentiments as her bubbly descendant. "What? Geez, is this really something to get excited about?" The miniature deity was giving the TV show the skunk-eye. She propped her right arm on the floor with her elbow while munching a bag of apple flavored snack chips. "This is one cheesy ass show."

Sanae whipped her attention at Suwako with an angry pout. "Shh! She's confessing to him," she informed. "Junichi's in for the shock of his life."

"Whatever," Suwako used Pyonta to fan her face. "The girl looks like a combination of the other girls in the earlier arcs. I kinda like the other girls but I personally like the student president chick the most. Ya know, the bipolar one that was kicking the guy's ass."

Sanae faltered for a second. "Oh, you mean Tsukasa. Well... she's okay, but her mood swings sort of freaks me out."

"Yeah! Tsukasa!" Suwako confirmed. "She's the perfect example of an ideal modern woman: a woman that doesn't take any crap from no one."

"If that's the case..." Sanae displayed a mischievous smirk on her lips. "... then the student council president will grow up to be an old maid."

"Grrgh!" Suwako almost choked on an apple chip when Sanae mentioned 'old maid'. "Tch. Wow Sanae, thanks for reminding me that I'm quite possibly the oldest living being in Gensokyou- no, the world." Well, her descendant's quip wasn't as nearly as offensive as the time when Yukari Yakumo referred to Suwako as ma'am. Even the most powerful youkai in existence showed some respect to her elders... the **very** few of them, that is. Once upon a time, the gap youkai inadvertently made Suwako so angry that the little goddess was willing to prove to the world of the difference between her and Yukari's power. Somehow, fate functions in mysterious ways...

Meeting a young girl with long violet hair equipped with a vine centuries ago was a prime example. Of course, this was long before Yukari was even born.

_Ah, the fluke of 2300 years, _Suwako thought. She remembered the great upset on that faithful day clearly. She remembered the child's determined face. She remembered everyone in her ancient kingdom mocking the grape-haired girl. She remembered sensing the wondrous power that was coursing through the child, unbeknownst to all but herself. Suwako remembered relinquishing her kingdom to that little girl. She remembered. Suwako remembered...

_Kanako didn't have those big melons of hers back in the day,' _Suwako thought darkly with a cackle. She even sounded like the old lady that she was. _But she was an adorable little thing back then! Yes she was! _The little blonde tadpole was now grinning like the Cheshire Cat. She should have showed that teenaged storm goddess whose boss.

"Heh heh heh... Gyah! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!" The wicked laughter that escaped her could have made Mima blush.

"Uh, Suwako-sama," Sanae diverted her ancestor back into the present. "Someone's approaching the shrine." She could see a silhouette in the distance. The visitor was a winged creature. "I doubt its Hatate. She just sent me a text just now. She's over at the Forest Of Magic."

Suwako gathered herself to her feet. "Hmm... could it be Mystia?"

"It's not her," Sanae relayed.

"Aya?" Suwako wondered and joined her descendant at the door.

"Afraid not," Sanae disconfirmed.

"Wriggle? Star Sapphire? Daiyousei?" Suwako questioned in rapid succession. "That little retarded ice fairy that I can't stand?"

Sanae shook her head, seemingly nervous. "None of the above. The visitor's not a fairy at all. So, that would mean..."

Suwako bit her lip in thought. "Okay. Now that you said that, I'm afraid nobody else comes to mind." She suddenly noticed that Sanae had brandished her gohei and took on a serious demeanor. "Hey, what's wrong, Sanae?"

"Look." Sanae spoke in a very serious tone.

Sure enough, the visitor landed on the shrine grounds. The visitor was a woman. A tall woman whom has long dark hair and a pair of large raven wings. She was strangely attractive and her eyes were a haunting red color. The iris of her eyes were shaped like symbols- more specifically, they were shaped like nuclear symbols. She wore a simple white short sleeved blouse that was frilly at the bottom of it. Her green miniskirt was quite stylish and it reached to the middle of her thighs. The large green bow on the top of her head gave her a schoolgirl look. Now, on to the strangeness of her wardrobe; her right arm was encased in something that seems to look like a lean cylinder. The cannon was light brown in color. Her right foot was covered in something that looked like a glob of clay and her left foot had atoms encircling it.

But the most peculiar thing about her outfit was the large red eye on the center of her shirt. This strange shining orb was even noticeable between her fairly ample bosoms. By now, the visitor should be very familiar to whoever's reading by now.

The girl scurried around the shrine yard as if she was searching for someone. "Unyu! She's got to be around here somewhere."

Suwako gritted her teeth. "F... f... ffffuuuuu-"

"You there," Sanae was slowly approaching the raven woman.

"Girl, what in the world is you doing?" Suwako hissed, worried for her granddaughter's safety. "If you ignore her, maybe she will go away." Sanae ignored the diminutive deity and continued her cautious pace towards the stranger. "Hey! Come back inside this shrine this instant, young lady!"

"It's okay. You just have to trust me," Sanae reassured. "Okuu may be super destructive but that doesn't mean that she would start a fight for nothing. The people from Hell I know are surprisingly civilized." At that moment, Okuu uprooted a tree and searched the spot where it used to be. "Or not."

_I pray that you're right Sanae,_ Suwako hoped. She heard tales of Satori's loyal pet and Kanako's vastly powerful monster. A memory suddenly flooded her mind. It was young Kanako again. She was standing over the floored Suwako. The wind god's long violet hair breezed in the wind and her wide innocent eyes held mercy for her enemies. The Kanako she encountered over two thousand three hundred years ago was a vast contrast to the Kanako she knew today.

_Back then, I never would have dreamed that you were capable of creating such a powerful creature, _Suwako thought gravely.

"Reiuji-san," Sanae was now standing before the hell raven. "What business do you have here? Should you be back guarding the fires of Old Hell?"

Okuu eyed the young wind priestess of miracles for a moment. Everything got quiet... too quiet. In fact, it was so quiet you could hear only the wild cicadas of Youkai Mountain right along with the rustling of tumbleweeds. Wait...

Okuu's face suddenly light up with recognition. "Sanae-chan!"

The gohei hung limply in Sanae's hand. "What...?"

"...the hell?" Suwako finished for her descendant. Her eyes were huge white dots.

"Sanae-chan!" Okuu giggled like a little schoolgirl and charged at the wind priestess. She lifted the teal-haired girl in a bear hug (with one arm!). "My gosh! It's been a while since I've last saw you! How have you been doing, girl?"

The cracking of Sanae's bones and tearing muscles were heard. "Ugh... I've... I... bee... been..."

"Huh? What you say, Sanae-chan?" Okuu wondered and finally noticed that her miko friend had passed out in her embrace. "Wah! Oh no! I'm so sorry, Sanae-chan! I've forgotten all about how frail the people above the surface are."

"Urrgh..." was the sound Sanae made.

"Damn!" Suwako cursed as she suddenly hit the floor.

**END OF PROLOGUE**

Next in Chapter One:

The awesome duo of Reimu and Marisa makes an appearance. The Three Mischievous Fairies encounters a wandering satori and we get to find out the reason for Kanako's visit to the Myouren Temple. Plus, Suwako once again reminisce the good ole days when she ruled her kindgom. Oh yea, and Kanako used to have long hair. It's just my interpretation of the teenage storm goddess around the time she encountered Suwako, who may have been already a couple hundred years old. Writing this chapter was both fun and rather difficult. I find it very hard to write Nue for some unexplainable reason. Seriously. I hope somebody would manage to let me know how I did with her because I have mixed feelings about how I portrayed Nue.

Til next time.


	2. Unforeseen Visitors

Here's another serving of Touhou hijinks, coming right up.

**TOUHOU PROJECT**

**2 And A Half Gods**

**CHAPTER ONE**

**Unforeseen Visitors**

"Ladies, that is no way to behave in the presence of one of the eight million gods," Byakuren lectured to her youkai comrades in a disapproving tone. She stood before the kneeling forms of Nazrin and Nue with a large paper fan in her hand. "Today's act of... childish violence is inexcusable." She patted the fan on her shoulder as if she were a drill sergeant. "Good grief."

"But, Hijiri!" Nue whined and rose on her feet. Her face has smudges of dirt and her miniskirt was slightly tattered. Plus, there was a large bandage patch on her derriere. "That little mutt of Nazrin's pissed on me! Be thankful that I didn't kick the little bastard's got-damn heart out." Nue was suddenly struck on the head by the savior's fan. "Ow!"

"Watch your language, Houjuu-san," Byakuren chided.

"I humbly apologize for my actions moments ago." Nazrin spoke in a solemn tone. She was addressing both Byakuren and Kanako. "Nue's choice of words caused me to react in such an unethical manner. Please forgive me." The mouse had a few nicks and scratches on her face. Her cape had a few rips in it. Other than that, she's fine.

"You're the one that dropped the B-bomb first!" Nue hollered, in which the shriek of a monkey was heard simultaneously. This was a bad day for her.

"Um, yea! I was referring to the little guy's mother!" Nazrin retorted.

"So you admit that you were the one that said the magic word in the first place then," Nue remarked angrily, the tails of a donkey, monkey, and a tiger appeared from her backside at the same time. Her ruby colored eyes had an eerie glint to them.

"Tch! Of course I said it, but I wasn't using it in a derogatory sense," Nazrin retold her (supposedly) mysterious adversary in annoyance. The mouse youkai gave Nue a childish gesture of lolling her tongue at her.

"Ugh! I can't stand you!" Nue shrieked. Did anyone hear a neighing horse just now?

"The feeling's mutual, bitch!" Nazrin cussed. Just as she was about to grin over her little victory of wits against Nue, she noticed Byakuren was looming over her ominously. "Oh! I didn't mean to say that, Anee-san! It slipped."

The youkai savior's papery weapon met Nazrin's head with a swift smack. "Ow!"

Kanako held a hand to her lips. She was failing horribly at suppressing her laughter. _I have to invite those girls over to the shrine one day. Goodness! Those two are a riot._

Shou was giggling like a ten year old schoolgirl- on a sugar high. _Hey~, Nazrin's has quite a sharp tongue there. And here I thought Murasa was the only one among us that can cuss up a storm._

Byakuren hung her head in disapproval, and there was this huge dollop of sweat hovering on the side of her head. "Please, girls... can't you two behave like responsible and civilized beings? We have a guest. Not just an ordinary guest at that." Byakuren suddenly felt a hand on her shoulder. To her mild surprise, it was Kanako. "Yasaka-sama?"

"It's quite all right, child." Kanako informed the beauteous messiah reassuringly. "In fact, your friends' little tirade isn't any different from what goes on at my abode. Why, I recall the time when the white/black witch and the magician from the Magical Forest came over for a visit. Oh, and there was that time when two tengu girls were arguing over something... right above the roof of the shrine at that!"

"Is that a fact?" Hijiri wondered in slight astonishment. The storm goddess was far more down to earth than she imagined.

"Of course it is," Kanako gave Byakuren a pat on the shoulder. "I love comical mischief. My life's full of it. Despite my little miko being quite powerful, she's just as goofy."

"Ahh..." Byakuren's face lit up like a child. The youkai cantata had a very uncanny habit of going into the mood (and mentality) of a little tiddler girl.

Kanako began escorting the easily impressed Hijiri towards the shrine. "Hey, why not let us take a step inside your place and talk a little more, eh? That Sanae is a zany girl, believe it or not. And you may already know Suwako Moriya, right? Guess what? That's what our little Sanae gets her klutziness from... heh heh. Last month, Suwako and I..."

Byakuren and Kanako were both inside the temple, with the storm goddess storytelling and the youkai saviour giggling audibly. Nue took the opportunity to mean-mug at Nazrin and slid her thumb across her throat in a threatening gesture. "This isn't over."

Nazrin smiled at her sphinx of a nemesis darkly. "Oh, I already know that. It's not over until Yuyuko sings. Her singing your dirge, that is."

Nue remarked with a cryptic threat of her own. "You really want to challenge me, do you?" Nue's voice blackened. "It seems like you really want to continue down this dark road, sweetie. Looks like Orin's going to collect your corpse if you keep on bothering me."

Nue's malice was almost tangible. Nazrin just didn't give a damn. "Not if Komachi gets your ass first."

"You're strolling down dangerous territory, keep talking," Nue remarked in a... somewhat frustrated tone. The fact that Nazrin was challenging her was preposterous. She'll show that little cheese munching cretin who's boss!

"Don't underestimate me, Nue." Nazrin said with a roll of her head. Damn, that's ghetto.

"Whatever, I'm off." Nue dismissed herself from the verbal confrontation with her dowsing antagonist. She glanced over at Shou. The tiger youkai was suppressing her fit of giggles. Shou knew that the nue and the mouse weren't going to do anything. They always bicker like that until the point of them both giving each other death threats. "Shou, what are you laughing at?"

Shou's face was red with pure mirth. "No- nothing."

"Tch. Tell Hijiri that I'm went off to cruise the skies," Nue informed. "Ya know, to frighten women and children and bring enough bad luck across the land that will even make Hina blush." A miniature red UFO suddenly appeared. Just as Nue was about to mount the fantastic object, the little puppy approached her again. And exactly like what happened in the previous chapter...

"WAH! YOU LITTLE PISSY CRETIN!"

Wait... are there any elephants in Gensokyou? Japan, even?

**MORIYA SHRINE**

"Here ya go, Okuu." Sanae handed the hell raven a cup of fresh brewed tea. "This tea is pretty good. My grandmother made it." Sanae glanced over to Suwako, whom was sitting across from Utsuho with a... miffed look on her face. It took almost twenty minutes for the wind priestess to recover from Okuu's embrace and here she was... serving tea to the hell raven. "My, Suwako-sama," Sanae said in a sugary sweet voice. "What was your special ingredient to this brew I wonder?"

"Tadpole spit," Suwako mentioned cynically. Okuu drank the tea anyway.

A vein bulged near Sanae's temple. "Ah heh heh heh... she's quite the comedian, isn't she?" Sanae peached, despite her temper flaring. Suwako was too old, way too old to be acting like a spoiled little brat to her guests! "My grandmother's quite good with the jokes, Okuu. One time, Yukari, Yuuka, and Shikieiki came over for a visit and Suwako-sama had them rolling on the floor with laughter."

Suwako shot her lovely descendant a dirty look. "Since when?"

Sanae's anger was growing and the stiff smile on her lips was evidence. "You know... that one time, Suwako-sama. You remember. Remember that time... That time you've invited those three over."

"What? Them heifers has never stepped foot up in here," Suwako scoffed and began pouting cutely. She didn't appreciate Sanae being overly friendly and hospitable to someone as dangerous as Utsuho Reiju. From what Suwako has heard Okuu once desired the very destruction of the world. Plus, the hell raven may still go through here random bouts of insanity. "So now, my dear little Sanae, what in the name of a mindless moment of sexual intercourse, are you talking about?"

"You must have forgotten about their visit, Grandmother." Sanae stressed. "You were joking the entire time."

"Well I must be suffering from a mild case of amnesia, sweetheart." Suwako replied in an equally vexed tone of voice. "Because I don't remember none of that happening. Why would I invite them here to my shrine in the first place? Especially Yukari?"

Sanae feigned innocence. She was going to have a long talk with Suwako later. "Are you sure you don't remember any of that? Even the jokes you said? You're really sure?"

Suwako was now smiling like she was high. "Does Cirno shit icicles?"

Okuu suddenly grimaced. "Eww, that's gross!"

Sanae instantly lifted Suwako with one hand. "Please excuse us for a moment, Okuu."

"Put me down," Suwako protested.

The green haired miko shot out of the den into the nearest hall with her amphibian ascendant in tow. Once she was out of their guest's earshot, she place Suwako back on her feet. Sanae balled her fists on her hips and leaned down slightly to mean-mug the little mountain goddess in her face. "What in the world is wrong with you? Behave yourself."

"Wrong?" Suwako scoffed while returning the glare. "What's wrong, you say? I'm a little appalled by your choice of friends, girl. Let me guess, I dunno, the personification of Doomsday sitting right there in the den. I mean, who wouldn't be on edge if such a being was right inside their very living room?"

Sanae sighed. "Okuu is a good girl, Suwako-sama."

Suwako suddenly went into a coughing fit. She made a sound in the middle of it that sounds suspiciously like, "Bullshit!"

"Suwako-sama!"

"That winged broad sipping tea in the den is not a good girl, Sanae." Suwako berated. "She's literally hell on earth!"

"That may be true about her being from Hell but Okuu is harmless," Sanae countered. "She changed, Suwako-sama. Satori made sure of that." She noticed the sudden skunk-eyes she was receiving from her little frog goddess. "Don't give me that look."

"Are you sure you're one of mine?" Suwako asked discourteously. "Everyday you're getting more and more like Kanako. I'm convinced that your entire lineage came straight out of her-"

"Yes, I am Kochiya Sanae. Your very own divine flesh and blood," Sanae retorted with a cheeky smirk on her face. "I even inherited your body structure." She emphasized the statement by striking a sexy pose- noticeably her bosom and backside.

"I never had titties like those," Suwako remarked, slightly jealous (and proud). "I never wanted a big rack anyway. You got those things from Kanako. If there is any solace for not being a D-Cup, it's that I never get to experience back pain."

"Okay, enough with the boob comments," Sanae grunted. "We are going back into the den, we're going to make Okuu feel comfortable around us, and you're going to behave. Are we clear on this?"

Suwako mumbled something incoherent to Sanae's ears, "You're talking to me like you're the adult."

Sanae's left ear grew a bit larger in size. "What was that?"

"We're clear! Crystal clear on this!" Suwako shouted. "If that little hell broad suddenly goes crazy- I swear to the eight million of my race that I will kill her. I will send her back to hell on one of Hisoutensoku's rocket missiles!"

"Just c'mon," Sanae lifted Suwako off her feet again. They returned to the den and rejoined Okuu. The hell raven was helping herself to another serving of tea. "We're back, Okuu-san. I nearly forgot the time to let my grandmother take her medication."

"Say what!"

"Anyway...! I forgot the most important question since you came here: What's your reason for visiting us today?" Sanae gave the guest a very sweet smile.

Reiuji perked up suddenly, "Oh! Girl, I almost forgot," she went into her skirt pocket and fished out a folded sheet of paper. On the paper was a photo of a certain woman from Old Hell. The depicted girl has a slightly angular face and her semi-long hair was an odd pale green-white color. Her large jade eyes shone with a childish glint and her smile seems inviting. The large church hat-like cap on her head was tilted slightly upwards. "She's missing. We haven't seen Koishi for weeks. Everyone's worried back home."

"Ah." Suwako mouthed simply, genuinely concerned.

"Koishi Komeji is missing?" Sanae demanded clarification. "Are you sure? She usually leaves Old Hell from time to time."

Okuu nodded sadly. "Uh-umm... Koishi usually heads out for a short period of time. The longest she's ever been gone is a day. But, this time, she's been missing for almost a month."

"This is terrible," said Sanae. She was actually pretty close with her friend from hell.

"So..." Suwako eyed Okuu warily. She noticed that the hell raven was really troubled by the situation. "You're placing those fliers all over Gensokyou while looking for Koishi, right?"

"Yes. We love Koishi and we don't want anything bad happening to her." Okuu answered.

"That's pretty unfortunate and all," Suwako contemplated, scheming. "However... I dare ask... isn't there any type of reward for finding her?"

"Suwako-sama!" Sanae screeched in disbelief. Why was her ancestor so nonchalant during such a delicate scenario?

"Silence." The highest of the native gods commanded, her voice black.

"But-"

"I said silence, Sanae!" Suwako suddenly stood to her feet. The Youkai Mountain trembled for a moment. "Honor your ancestor, child!"

Sanae's forehead kissed the tatami floor in a passionate bow of reverence. "H-hai!"

Okuu faltered for a moment. Even she was intimidated by the little goddess' outburst. _That was kinda scary._

Suwako resumed her conversation with Reiuji. "As I was saying, is there a reward being offered for Koishi's safe return to your realm?"

Okuu delayed her reply. "...Only if you can bring Koishi back to us safely."

Suwako narrowed her eyes. The wisdom of over two millennia was evident on her features, right along with just as many years of mischief. "I see. In regards to this... reward. I would like to speak with your leader."

Okuu tilted her head to the side in mild surprise. "You want to talk to my master?"

"Of course," Suwako confirmed. "Could you tell her to come over here for a visit? It's a matter of faith..."

**FOREST OF MAGIC**

**MARISA'S KIRISAME'S HOUSE**

"You see," Reimu Hakurei grunted. "That's what you get for challenging Suika in crazy ass drinking games."

"Heh heh..." Marisa chuckled foolishly. "Ahh... and don't... fo... fo... forget that smoke-out with Yukari. Ze~!"

Reimu almost fell to the ground while trying to maintain the blonde woman's weight. "I know that. And I'm gonna kick y'all asses for corrupting my shrine with drugs and alcohol."

Marisa swooned. "But... but... invite... us... you invited us, Reimu-tan."

"Correct. I did invite you guys for leisure, but not the booze and dope!" The Hakurei Miko thought she cracked her teeth for gritting them so hard. "Stop staggering! Stop slouching! I'm not going to haul your heavy butt inside your house without you cooperating with me."

"Gyah heh heh heh..." Marisa giggled. "I'm fat!"

Reimu sighed. She should have known not to invite Marisa, Suika, Yukari, and Hatate over to the shrine earlier today. She should have known! Suika brought sake. Yukari brought booze. Hatate brought her smart phone (she wasn't sure if those things were capable of thought in the first place), and Marisa brought along some Phantasmal Mushrooms. That was instant shit going down!

Damn it all.

"Hatate-san, open the door for us," Reimu requested. The only solace to this awkward situation is that the tengu girl was the only one whom was still sober. "Get off that thinking... thingumajig and help me out."

"Gotcha," the brunette replied. Hatate Himekaidou was one of Gensokyou's more modern citizens. She was of average height and slender. The stylish tengu was wearing a white blouse with a purple tie around it's collar, and a violet and black patterned miniskirt. Her long brown twin side-tails and black thigh-highs completed her loli schoolgirl look. Her odd loafers made her taller than she really was. She's around five feet four inches tall. Despite being a tengu, Hatate looks like a very chic college co-ed in her very late teens.

Hatate smelled the tangy scent of smoked shrooms on Marisa. "Damn," she gave her nose a whiff. "She's bunkin'."

"Ya think?" Reimu scoffed... and nearly slipped over wet moss. She went through the entrance door and placed Marisa on the couch ungracefully. "There."

"Ah ha ha hah he!"

"I'm surprised that we're not high from that smoky scent on her," Hatate mentioned. She has been in Marisa's house only a few times before, but today she noticed something different about it. "I don't know if it's just me, but... doesn't this place seem... cleaner to you?"

Reimu processed what the tengu just said and took a glance around the room. "You know what, Hatate-san? You're kinda right. Kinda. All the books are on the shelves."

Hatate pounded her right fist unto her left palm in confirmation. "Ah! Right. Right... it's just the books in place."

On the couch, Marisa suddenly pouted. "This is one crummy couch," she said.

Reimu told her, "It came from Kurindou's."

"Ha ha ha," a wide smile sudden etched on the witch's face (Marisa has a beautiful smile). "Whoever this raggedy thing belongs to needs to get shot in the big toe." She suddenly began galloping and bronco-busting on the couch. "Fuck ya couch... fool! Fuck ya couch! Need to get another one! Another one! Ze! Ze! Zeeee~!"

A heavy sigh escaped Reimu, "Marisa, the couch belongs to you."

The witch paused for a moment in her stoned lunacy. "D'oh!"

"You're high as a kite, Marisa," said Reimu. She was a bit glad that Marisa didn't go Phantasmal induced crazy at the shrine.

Hatate looked like she was about to fall out laughing. "I've just got all of that on my phone," laughed Hatate. "She has got to see this once she is sober."

Reimu noted the phone in Hatate's hand. "Maybe she will realize how catnip crazy she acted when she's high."

On the couch, Marisa sounded like she was about to cry. "I... I... I mess... was messing up my couch! Got-damn it all! Wah!"

Hatate indulged the rare scenario. "Marisa's... crying? I am so recording this!"

The Hakurei Miko asked a very important question to no one in particular: "Can this day get any weirder?"

As if to answer Reimu's question, there was a slit on the space fabric above the living room. The sudden phenomena grew larger to approximately the size of a queen-sized bed. Inside this phenomena, or gap, was something the darkest nightmares are made of. The gap seems to be something beyond human and youkai comprehension. There were countless eerie ruby eyes inside this swirling violet and red void. Roughly, it was also something beyond time and space.

And what's more compelling about the said gap...

"WOOO!"

**THUD!**

A purple and golden figure fell from this gap. It fell unceremoniously onto the floor and it made a loud clatter among Marisa's belongings. The figure was a woman... well, something beyond human but it was female. Her golden hair was very long and gave off an strong impression of royalty (or something of an even higher status). She wore a violet semi-taut body gown and it slits at the middle of her thighs. Even though the figure fell face-first on the floor, it was obvious that she was beautiful with a curvaceous body to boot.

"Ugh..." Yukari Yakumo grunted.

Reimu looked like she wanted to shoot herself in the brain. "Okay... I practically asked for that one."

**SCARLET DEVIL MASION**

**ENTRANCE GATES**

"Hey-hey! Check it out," a red dress wearing fairy grinned. "It's only the middle of the day and the gate guard's already conked out."

"Awesome!" A curly haired fairly in white exclaimed, "Let's go get some water from the Misty Lake and poor it on her hands. She will be pissing like a skunk."

"It sounds like fun, but let's be careful," the third fairy commented. This one seemed to express concern. "We wouldn't want a situation similar to the other day to happen again. You know, like when we were trying to spook Alice after midnight? Yea, that incident."

Sunny Milk (the red one) shuddered at the recent memory. "Gah... those dolls... and that sadistic smile of that crazy puppeteer... I have never been so frightened in my life."

"Wait," Lunar Child (the curly haired one in white) made a face. "You were actually scared?"

Star Sapphire (mini Kaguya look-a-like in blue) stared at Lunar. "Say what?"

Sunny answered Lunar's question. "Ya darn tooting I was scared! When she woke up and saw us she nearly scared the wings off of me."

Star Sapphire added, "And she sent those creepy dolls after us. Are you sure that those dolls of hers don't act on their own? Because what we witnessed that night kinda tossed that conception out the window."

Lunar said, "I wasn't scared. It was funny to me." She noticed that she was receiving skunk-eyes from both of her friends. "What?"

_And they say that Cirno is a dumb fairy, _thought Star.

"Uh, whatever," Sunny milked grunted. "Let's hurry and gets some water from the lake and leave the gate guard in a pissy mess." Just as the Three Mischievous Fairies were about to head for Misty Lake, a presence met them the moment they turned around. The stranger was within touching range.

"_**Ah, why hello there," **_the stranger... said... thought... simultaneously...?

The Fairies shrieked in surprise. Sunny cussed. "What the hell!"

Star Sapphire was especially scared. She was trying to apply logic to the stranger's sudden appearance. "What in the world? How did she come upon us without me sensing her movement? This is unbelievable!"

"How can we hear words from her when her lips aren't moving?" Lunar asked dumbly.

The stranger made an apologetic expression. _**"Ah! I'm so sorry for scaring you three like that. I didn't mean to frighten any of you girls."**_

"She's doing it again!" Lunar exclaimed, pointing at the stranger.

"Freaky," Sunny said with a hand over her rapidly beating heart. "Star, you didn't know that she was coming up behind us?"

"No. I didn't sense her at all," Star relayed and stared hard at the stranger. "Who... who are you?"

The stranger is indeed the missing girl from hell. She was wearing her usual long sleeved gold blouse with the green collar. She still had on her black round hat along with her closed third eye hovering around her neck. Instead of her long forest green skirt, she was wearing a pair of black jean shorts. _**"How do you do?**_ _**My name's Koishi Komeji," **_she introduced. The hue of the twilight sky seem to give her an eerie glow. _**"Younger sister of Satori Komeji of Old Hell."**_

Star's eyebrows became check marks, "Hmm... the Komeji's... that family name does sound familiar."

Just as the fairies were about to get acquainted with Koishi, the gate guard was stirring awake. "Aiya... what's... with all the noise." She stood up on her feet and dusted off her Chinese qui pao with a huge yawn. "I need... my beauty sleep..."

If her beauty sleep was any indication then she must be getting a lot of it! The gate guard was a statuesque woman hailing from China. She was rather tall for a woman, at an impressive five feet nine inches in height. She was exceptionally shapely and obviously well-endowed (gotta love the T&A). She didn't even need the forest green qui pao to show that she's curvy. Underneath the glamorous body-fitting dress she wore baggy white trousers and black dragon shoes.

Hong Meiling subconsciously flipped her flowing scarlet locks. "Guess I'll resume my duty before Sakuya finds out I'm napping again."

Koishi greeted the sleepily oblivious gate guard, _**"Good day to you, friend."**_

Meiling jolted at the sound of a voice that wasn't her thoughts. "Huh?" She turned towards the source of the ethereal voice and gasped in shock at the unexpected guests. "Wah? Halt there, intruders!" She clenched her fists and took on a fighting stance. "This is the Scarlet Devil Manor, home of Remilia Scarlet and her fierce guardian, Hong Meiling. What's your reason for being here?"

The fairies began panicking at Meiling's presumed threat. Koishi, however, tilted her head to one side with a bright smile. _**"Ah. This sounds like quite a nice place to live at. Is the food here delicious?"**_

Meiling glared at the gold and black clothes wearing satori. "Were you mocking me? Do not take me lightly, stranger. Maybe you should get a sample of my strength." She sudden waved her right hand and silvery-blue bits of ki gathered on it. She then thrust her hand in a wide upward arc. "Reppu-ken!"

"AAAHHH!" Sunny, Lunar, and Star shrieked simultaneously as they fled for their lives.

However...

The wave of energy didn't even appear. "Eh! This can't be right," Meiling spoke in confusion. "I was training for days on that new move. I got the motions down packed... so..."

Koishi stared curiously at Meiling. _**"What are you trying to do, miss?"**_

Meiling, unfortunately, took Koishi's innocent question the wrong way. "So ya wanna be the funny one, huh? Well, how about a DOUBLE REPPU-KEN!" Meiling tried the movement again, only this time she followed up with her left hand after the right wave.

Still, nothing happened...

"Is this some sort of bad dream?" Meiling said as she gazed at her hands in great confusion. "I can't focus any of my ki at all."

Koishi's eyes widened at a sudden realization. _**"Oh! It must be because of me."**_

"What do you mean?" Meiling wondered.

"Meiling," another voice called out. "It's time for dinner."

Meiling's eyes became large white dots and she suddenly looked fearful. "Aiya! Not good! If Sakuya sees that I haven't gotten rid of you then it's a painful moment for me."

"_**Painful moment?"**_ Koishi repeated.

"C'mon Meiling," the owner of the voice said as she came into view. "The maids and I made Italian cuisine this evening, and I know how crazy you are about Chicken Alfredo." The maid was a very beautiful woman dressed in a dark blue French maid outfit. The maid has semi-long silver hair and silvery-blue eyes. She was slender, bearing fine bone structure and her long legs clothed in white thigh highs. Although, not as tall or endowed as Hong Meiling, she seemed to have a more imposing air about her. Plus, the maid's voice was deeper than the gate guard. "Good grief. If you're napping on the job again, Meiling, I swear that I will-"

"_**Good evening," **_Koishi said to the silver haired knockout.

Meiling's entire being turned manga-panel white. "Ack!"

Sakuya was slightly surprised by the stranger. "Meiling... is this a friend of yours, perhaps?"

"No," Meiling remarked with a pleading expression. "I've never met her before in my life."

Sakuya Izayoi nodded, a silver dagger slipping out from her sleeves. "Ah. I see," she accepted. She turned a harsh glare at Koishi. "You there, what business do you have here at the Scarlet Devil Manor? Are you lost? Or are you seeking a quick way to end your existence? For the latter, I assure you, I can inflict to you a quick and painless death. I will deliver your demise with extreme passion. You have til the count of three to make your choice."

"Careful, Sakuya," Meiling warned. "This girl has a way of throwing off mental focus."

"Much appreciated," Sakuya replied as the dagger in her grasp glimmered ominously. Another thing noticeable about her was the change of color of her eyes. They were now deep red. "One..."

"_**Excuse me," **_Koishi pardoned, surprising Sakuya with her hypno-speech.

"Y-yes?"

Koishi's flat tummy grumbled loudly. _**"Forgive me for being nosey, but did you say something about an Italian dinner?"**_

Sakuya's voice went into a high pitched lilt. "Hah?"

**END OF CHAPTER ONE**

Uh oh. Looks like Koishi may be in a heap load of trouble. What fate awaits the friendly satori at the Scarlet Devil residence? Will Okuu be able to find Koishi... alive? Isn't Suwako pretty scary when she's serious? Plus, Marisa and Yukari are messed up. How will Reimu deal with the high as a kite witch and the flat out drunk gap youkai? Can't Nazrin and Nue both just get along? Hmm, indeed...

Next in Chapter Two:

Kanako returns to the Moriya shrine and reveals to the others what she has been up to. However, the storm goddess' proposal sparks anger in Suwako and her precious little wind miko. In regards to that proposal, Byakuren accepts it. And Yukari clarifies why she introduced some of the outside world's technology into Gensokyou.

And most important of all...

Flandre appears! And did anyone catch the Comedy Central reference in this chapter?

Until next time, fellow readers. Thanks for the critique and reviews. This fic is a challenge to write but I hope I am compelled to continue (co-writing this with another Touhou fic). Without challenges, life is pretty much meaningless, right? Right?

_**,**_


	3. The Great Upset

At it again, folks. I dunno know if it's just me but, I think Rie Tanaka would be a great character voice for Sanae (if Touhou ends up with an anime adaptation). Ya know, she has that sultry big sister kind of voice. Ah well.

**TOUHOU PROJECT**

**2 And A Half Gods**

**CHAPTER TWO**

**The Great Upset**

"Ah. Most interesting," the mistress of the Scarlet Devil Manor scrutinized. The mistress was a renowned individual in Gensokyou. She hails from Europe, more than likely from the eastern part of the continent. "Sa-ku-ya, I vill allow the girl to be our guest for dinner tonight."

The Perfect Maid was surely a bit surprised by her mistress' decision. "Milady, are you sure about this? Can we trust this woman?"

"Vat? Are you kidding me?" The mistress replied to her subordinate with a growing grin on her child-like face. "Goodness, Sa-ku-ya, be vise of what fate brings to us. The infamous Scarlet Devil Mansion has a woman from the very depths of hell as tonight's guest. She is most appropriate for being a guest tonight. How astonishing is that?"

Sakuya nodded, "I agree, Milady. However, considering she's from hell, wouldn't you think that our guest would be more... you know, terrifying?"

The Lady of the manor delivered a frown to her ever loyal maid. "Sa-ku-ya, take a look at me." The silver haired servant did so. "I am Remilia Scarlet, reputedly known as the Scarlet Devil. I may be a force of living nightmares, but do I look pure evil to you? Or a devil for that matter?"

Sakuya suppressed a grin. Damn that little vampire was adorable! "Unfortunately, I haven't an answer for that, Milady. I cannot say for certain."

The vampire pouted. "Tch. Very vell. I'll be down in the dining room shortly." Short, charismatic, adorable, and (oddly) at the same time, menacing, Remilia flashed a fang in delight. With Koishi being tonight's guest, Remilia may very well be a devil. Standing at a miniature four feet eleven inches in height, her appearance is nothing to be trifled with. Because of her misleading appearance, it was often a fatal mistake for those that are foolish enough to underestimate her. Many of her deceased enemies can tell anyone that. Unfortunately, dead men tell no tales.

Remilia noticed that her servant was now staring at her. "Just vat are you looking at, Sa-ku-ya?"

Sakuya giggled a heavenly sound. "That dress is very becoming of you, Milady. Good choice."

The Scarlet Devil blushed in appreciation. Instead of her usual pink colored gown and 'shower' cap, Remilia was dressed in a long blood red sleeveless dress with black trimmings on the edges and her powder blue hair was up in a French bun. She was also wearing a pair of stylish arm length black gloves. "Vatever. I just thought I should go for a different look for tonight's meal, that's all."

Sakuya then laughed. HHHHRRRNNG! "Milady, you have to pardon my jibe, but it seems you're preparing yourself for a date with a handsome young vampire." Remilia's face became red as her dress. "Or a date with a beautiful young she-devil."

Steam escaped from the vampire's ears. "Sa-ku-ya! You're embarrassing me!"

Remilia gave Sakuya chase, and the Perfect Maid ran out of the master bedroom while laughing like a schoolgirl.

**MORIYA SHRINE**

"Wow," Sanae said in a disapproving tone. "I never would have thought that you could be so... devilish."

"You may call it devilment, my friend," Suwako lectured in a mock sagely voice. "I, however, call it prosperity. This is what is known as a win-win situation, sweetie."

Sanae didn't like this proposal at all. "So, in exchange for Koishi's safe return to the Earth Spirits Palace, you want utmost faith from all the citizens residing in hell."

"Exactly." Suwako confirmed.

Sanae actually seemed a bit frightened. "You're insane."

"No I am not!" Suwako hollered.

"Suwako-sama, please reconsider your plan." Sanae pleaded. "I'm fine with Satori, Koishi, Okuu, and the others gathering faith in you but... but... faith from countless lost souls and evil spirits in hell... doesn't that notion unnerve you in the slightest?"

Suwako nodded her head haughtily. "Not one bit. I'm a god. Even evil spirits should know their place."

Sanae backed away from Suwako slowly. She could have sworn she saw a dark aura enveloping Suwako. The darkness reminded her of the countless tales of the Mishaguji told to her by Kanako. "Indeed you are a deity, Suwako-sama. But you are on the verge of becoming a demon!"

"Eh? Why so scared?" There was an evil grin on the mighty midget's face and she started creeping towards Sanae ominously. "It's okay, baby. Your great grandmother is here to take care of everything." With a gesture that may have inspired Yuka Kazami, Suwako outstretch her hand. "Don't be afraid. Soon, even hell itself is going to worship me. You will finally see why I am known as the Highest of the Native Gods."

"Don't come any closer to me!"

"Ya! Ha! Ha! Ha! Come to mama, my little pretty!"

Sanae was backed into a corner of the room. From there she unleashed a truly horrified scream that may as well be heard for miles. "LET GO OF ME! KYAAAAH!"

Suwako grabbed her frightened descendent by her hair. "Oh! Ho! Ho! I love it when ya scream for me!"

"I want my mommy!"

Suddenly, Sanae was saved from her wretched fate. "Girls, I'm back," Kanako announced as she entered the den. "What's with all the ruckus? Why is Sanae screaming like the world's coming to an end?"

Suwako halted in terrorizing her poor great granddaughter. She released Sanae's hair and told her, "Sanae, get a handkerchief and dry your eyes. What's wrong with you? I can't believe that you actually thought that I was going to harm you."

Kanako put two and two together. "Were you, Suwako?"

The storm goddess' ancient frienemy suddenly looked like a deer. "Uh, n-no. I was letting Sanae know how much in a good mood I am in right now."

If Suwako Moriya was in a good mood, it's like Hina interchanging someone's good luck with somebody else's misfortune. In other words, something wasn't right. "Why is that child in tears, Suwako? And I just saw Reiuji leaving the mountain. That means you have some explaining to do."

"Koishi Komeiji is missing!" Sanae shrieked and ran towards Kanako. She hid behind the storm goddess and glared at Suwako. "Okuu came over to let us know that Koishi's missing and Suwako-sama had something evil in mind."

Kanako's interests were piqued. "Evil? What is the little froggy up to now?"

"She wants Satori to come over so she can negotiate with her!" Sanae tattled.

"Sanae..." Suwako grounded dangerously.

The teal haired miko kept crying. "If we're able to find Koishi and return her to Chireiden safely, Suwako-sama wants faith from every last being in hell in exchange!"

"Ugh!" Suwako grunted in annoyance. "You are such a snitch, Sanae!"

Kanako glared at Suwako. "You've lost it, you know that? Just... what in the world were you thinking? Is that amphibian brain of yours finally drying up inside your noggin?"

"Eat a dick, old hag!" Suwako retorted.

"Old hag? You're older than me," Kanako remarked cruelly. "You're even older than my mother, little Miss Methuselah. During the beginning of time, when He said 'let there be light' I bet your ass was there to turn on the switch."

"Okay. That was low..." Suwako growled, "Even for a snake in the grass like you."

Kanako sighed, cradling the sniffling Sanae in her arms. "Have a little grace. You was scaring Sanae with another one of your far-fetched plans for mass faith."

Sanae glared at Suwako and lolled out her tongue at her. "Nnnngh!"

"You ungrateful, traitorous child!" Suwako shouted.

"Rather a traitorous child than a future demon queen!" Sanae replied flippantly.

"Another smart ass remark from you... I'm going to slap your faithless butt into next Friday." Suwako threatened. Honestly, she fed, clothed, entertained, and provided shelter for this girl for almost twenty years! Is this is how Sanae is going to repay her? Hell to the no! "I'll give you a good reason to cry about!"

"Hey! Hey!" Kanako commanded. "Stop this nonsense, the both of you!" She held the little mountain goddess at bay. She's successful in preventing Suwako from reaching Sanae but she was struggling in this ordeal. "Suwako, I refuse to let you put your hands on this child! I won't allow you to hurt Sanae!"

Realizing that Kanako was serious, Suwako cooled down. "Fine. I wasn't going to hurt her anyway. I was, however, intent on disciplining my granddaughter."

"Same difference," said Sanae. Suwako used to whoop her ass a lot when she was a child. Ironically, after moving to Gensokyou a few years ago, many people thought that Suwako was indeed Sanae's little sister/niece/daughter/younger cousin. But in reality, Suwako was the one doing the child-raising.

"Stop cheeking your ancestor, Sanae." Kanako advised. "You're making the situation more worse than it already is."

Humbled, Sanae bowed. "H-hai. I'm sorry."

"Anyway," Suwako returned to the television in the den. "Since you already know what I'm up to... mind telling us what you were up to while you were gone for nearly half the day." She dug into her bag of apple chips and silently cussed when she realized it was empty. "That damn hell raven… That was my last bag of chips."

Sanae resumed watching the television as well. The anime adaption of Iron Man was on. Kanako sat in front of her fellow goddess across the small table. "So you do know that I was brooding over something these last few hours," Kanako chuckled.

"Ya think?" Suwako retorted lamely. "I've known you for far too long to know whether or not when you're up to something. Sheesh, Kana, I saw the rain clouds you made earlier today."

"Sharp as ever, old friend," Kanako admitted. "Very well. I will tell you what I was up to. The matter at hand concerns Sanae's training."

Sanae glance towards Kanako at the sound of her name. "My training? Do you mean my youkai extermination regime?"

"Indeed." Kanako replied.

Suwako shrugged. "Don't try to fix something that's not broken. Sanae is doing quite well in handling any youkai that may be a threat to the Human Village. Along with the Hakurei child and the witch to help out from time to time, any concerns would be in vain."

"Understandable," Kanako allowed the older goddess' words to sink into her mind. "But as both of you may be very well aware of, that not all youkai are created equal…"

Sanae's mind instantly went back to an unpleasant memory. "That's the very same thing Yuuka said to Marisa and me when she last visited the Human Village. She was only garden shopping so we didn't bother."

"A wise decision," Kanako told the young godling. "Yuuka Kazami is no ordinary youkai, but we all know that by now." Sanae and Suwako both nodded at that simple fact. "Okay, allow me to rephrase that 'not all youkai are created equal' line: Not all youkai are evil. Nor, all of them aren't intent on inflicting harm or outright killing humans for that matter."

Suwako nodded. Sanae agreed with Kanako's words. "I see. For youkai, common sense may not be so bad after all in this land."

"Yea," Suwako added. "And just like humans they also have this irritating habit of overestimating themselves. That delusion is contagious among both humans and youkai."

Kanako suddenly beamed. "That is one indefinite similarity between the two species. Well said, Suwako. Spoken like a true goddess."

"Tch."

Sanae grunted. "Okay. Okay. So maybe it's true that both we humans and youkai tend to think we're a lot better than our actual selves. What does this has to do with my training?"

"While I was out, I gave the Myouren Temple a visit," Kanako revealed. "Actually, it was the mystical ship, Palaquin. Anyway, Sanae... You may very well be familiar with one Byakuren Hijiri. Correct?"

That name brought a slight frown to Sanae's face. "Byakuren... the infamous Youkai Savior. Yes, I know her. Mystic ship, UFOs, that little karakasa … yea, I'm fairly familiar with her. Why do you ask, Kanako-sama?"

Kanako prodded her fingers together in a capricious manner. "I spoke with Byakuren-san today - very down to earth kind of person, by the way. She's extraordinary unexpected for someone that has been sealed beneath Makai for nearly a millennium. She has my utmost condolences."

"Yea yea," Suwako spat impatiently. "It was mighty fucked up what the humans did to her back in the day. Sap story. Why am I not surprised that humans would do something so messed up? Now, can you get on with what you and Byakuren were discussing about? Please!"

Kanako had to stop herself from giggling at Suwako's pouting face. "Ahem. Byakuren and I were negotiating for a few hours... and she decided that the Myouren Temple may need additional human interactivity and influence besides herself."

"Hah?" Suwako said dumbly.

Sanae mentally absorbed the bit of information and her heart rate suddenly quickened. "Human interactivity... at the Myouren Shrine? Wait, what are you saying?"

Suwako sensed the growing discomfort from her descendant. She went into a frog's stance. "Kanako... so you're saying..."

"We agreed for Sanae to live there for a while," Kanako confirmed at last. "It will be excellent for her training. It will be a good opportunity for her to interact with youkai. In addition to that, Byakuren would be a great teacher for Sanae, for she is well adept in mysticism." There was a sudden chill in the den along with an awkward moment of silence. "Well?"

Sanae's eyes were hidden beneath her bangs.

Suwako looked like a poisonous frog that was ready to leap on its next victim. Pyonta looked extra creepy than it already was because of it's... crossed expression.

"Girls? What's wrong?" A giant bead of sweat was hovering near Kanako's head. "Orin got your tongues?"

Suddenly, Sanae amber eyes revealed themselves and they were flashing in anger. "I..." she grounded angrily. "…am... not... your... personal test subject!"

Kanako was appalled by the godling's exclamation of rage. "Sanae, calm yourself!"

"I have to agree with my baby, Kana-chan," Suwako followed in an ominous tone. "I ought to choke your ass out with your own damn shimenawa rope!"

Kanako's irises shrunk immensely as her eyes widened in fright. With snake eyes, she tried to reason with the older goddess. "But Suwako, I thought that- ACK!" It was a little too late. Suwako has already leap-frogged over her and tightened a rope around her neck from behind. "YAAAAAH!"

"Now, what in the hell were _you_ thinking?" Suwako yanked on the rope slightly and there was this squeezing sound that followed. "And you thought that my plan was far-fetched."

"Argh!" Kanako was screaming like a little girl. "Suwa- let... let go of me!" She gripped the rope that was tightly constricting her throat. "HHHWWWAAAA! I'm... going to suffocate! HHWWWWAAA!"

Suwako didn't give a damn. "Isn't it ironic? I'm choking the life out of your snake ass!" She glanced at the satisfied Sanae and gave a command. "Sanae! Come get some of this action!"

The two-faced miko nodded in agreement. "With pleasure, Suwako-sama!"

And that night, there was a great ruckus among the Youkai Mountain. The source of the disturbance was coming from the divine Moriya Shrine. Not too far away, a lone figure was witnessing the great upset that was going on in the abode of the highest native gods.

"Holy crap!" A rather speculative girl exclaimed while viewing this event through a pair of binoculars. "There's a rumble of godly proportions going on over there!" The stranger took out a writing pad. "With great power, comes a great beat-down." She scribbled down the entire scenario on her pad at an amazing speed. "This is going to be the headline in tomorrow's paper! Ooh! This is so win!"

The sexy Aya Shameimaru, otherwise known as the Wind God Girl, was both the photographer and chief editor of Gensokyou's very own Bunbunmaru newspaper. With her trademark grin on her face, she took pictures of the Moriya Shrine. Though she wished she had her cell phone (recently got from Kourindou's) with her because the shrine was literally shaking and rattling due to the novel event. "Whoa! They're really going at it over there."

She was currently standing on a tree branch. The tengu was slender in frame and she was actually shorter than the five foot eight inches height her platform loafers indicated. She wore a white colored button-up blouse with black trimmings on the edges of the sleeves. The black miniskirt and thigh highs adorning her shapely legs were simple yet ultra hip. The red tokin cap on her head indeed identifies her as a tengu. The heavens know that she was sexy.

"Why thank you!" Aya voice her appreciation to no one to particular. With a flip of her semi-long black her she took on a pose, her deep brown eyes twinkling with mischievous curiosity. "Hey, does this miniskirt make my butt look big?"

Somehow, Aya managed to get an answer. Don't ask.

**Um... yes. Quite lovely, in fact.**

The tengu giggled like a love-struck schoolgirl. "Tee hee! I bet you say that to all the Touhou girls!"

Uh... she really shouldn't be doing this. And so, for the sake of protecting the fourth wall, a voice from below said, "Evening, Aya."

"Hmm..." Aya gazed towards the ground and laid eyes on a rather attractive green haired girl that wasn't Sanae or Yuuka. "Hey, what's up Hina?"

"It seems the peace of Youkai Mountain has been broken," Hina Kagiyama mentioned, indicating towards the violently shaking Moriya Shrine. Hina was one of many of the goddesses that inhabited the Youkai Mountain. While she is indeed an innocent creature, she was also potentially the most dangerous. Her height wasn't that impressive because she's only five feet even. She actually looks like a living decorative doll. Her long teal hair was slightly wavy and it was tied in a ponytail above her chest. Her outfit consisted of a very elaborate crimson bodice that has a long white ascot around its shoulders. The rest of the getup was a flowing dress of a lighter red color along with a pair of dark brown boots. There was also a symbol of a swirl on the dress. The adorable goddess was Japanese but her wardrobe speaks of Victorian influences. "What in heaven's name is going on over there?"

"Heh. It's the main article of tomorrow's paper, that's what going on," Aya replied.

"Oh dear," Hina nearly lost her gigantic ribbon on her head due to a sudden gust of wind. "Are the goddesses at war with one another again? Isn't their lovely miko caught in the crossfire? I fear for that girl's safety."

"Nah, I'm sure that Sanae-chan can handle it," Aya shrugged. "By tomorrow, they're gonna be all buddy-buddy and at peace with one another like nothing happened. I guess this is the god's way of having fun. So no worries, Hina. Everything's cool."

Hina looks sad for a moment. "If that is their way of having fun, then that is very unfortunate."

Aya tilted her head in confusion. "Hah?"

"A good evening to you, dear Aya. I shall return to the base of the mountain." After her courteous farewell, the Apotropaic Goddess starts to spin. Seriously, she started spinning like a human top. She started at an extremely slow pace and then... a moment later, she was spinning so fast that she looked like a miniature red, green, and white tornado ripping through the forest.

Hina's voice echoed throughout the forest. "How unfortunate indeeeeeeeeeeeeeed..."

Back on the tree branch Aya was standing on, she scribbled into her notepad again. "Hmm... 'Mysterious Red-Green Tornado Spotted In Youkai Forest'. Hey, that sounds like an excellent Bunbunmaru article since not many people know of Hina's existence. Yea, this is so another interesting scoop. Big Foot, Loch Ness Monster, Rin Satsuki... eat y'all hearts out."

**CRICK!**

"What was that sound?"

**CRACK! CRICKITTY-CRACK!**

The branches were breaking beneath Aya's weight. "Holy..."

**C_R_A_C_K!**

"Ayayayayayayaya!" The tengu's scream was heard throughout Youkai Mountain.

**THUD!**

"I'm okay!"

The fortune goddess was right, this is an unfortunate event. Aya was lying on the ground with her shapely derriere in the air. Plus, the miniskirt was hiked up so far over her waist that her secret was revealed: she's commando. The unfortunate part was that there were no further details on her bareness. Sucks, doesn't it?

"Don't worry," Aya plucked herself from the ground. "I'll be happy to appease to the audience. Allow me to go into extreme details about my nether-"

Next scene, please!

**SCARLET DEVIL MANOR**

"_**Wow,"**_Koishi expressed in awe. _**"This is a very nice place you live in, Miss Meiling."**_The satori was following the mansion sentry throughout one of the many corridors of Remilia's abode. The corridor they were in was partially dark with chandeliers providing light. The marble floor was a dark green in color and it had an elaborate scarlet rug on the center of it. Every few yards on the rug were the golden symbols of a bat-like figure. Adorning the hall were many authentic knight armors from a time long before even the mistress of the mansion was even born. These corridors in the Scarlet Devil Mansion were definitely something straight out of the dark ages. _**"It's nice and dark, just like how it is back home."**_

"Ah. I'm glad you like our place, Koishi." Meiling replied with a genuine smile. She was getting along so well with Koishi. Right now she kinda wished that she didn't confront the mysterious girl earlier. Koishi was... in many ways, like the mistress' younger sister. "This place may look spooky, but it's surprisingly peaceful."

Meiling and Koishi approached a detailed blood-colored door at the end of the hallway. Before going through this door, Koishi noticed a house painting to her left. On the painting was a young girl with short lilac hair with intense red eyes. The expression on the girl's face was unreadable and it seems that her eyes could be gazing at one's soul. The portrait of the mistress very much reminded Koishi of Satori. _**"So this is the Scarlet Devil."**_

Meiling took a glance at the depicted mistress as well. "Yea. That's her alright. That would be Remilia Scarlet, owner of this Mansion. I think that painting of her was made before I was born."

Koishi tilted her head in curiosity. _**"I take it that it's been ages ago then. I guess she doesn't look much like this picture anymore."**_

Hong glanced at the painting again, this time with intense scrutiny. "I guess not. Though Remilia-sama still has those haunting, beautiful red eyes." The gatekeeper suddenly chuckled and tapped Koishi on the shoulder. "Hey. Just between you and me, I think Remilia-sama has the most beautiful eyes that I have ever seen. Goodness. Her eyes are like that of a mighty tiger back on the continent. This bust painting of her doesn't do her justice."

"Meiling," a voice spoke as the large door suddenly opened. "What was that about Remilia's eyes again?"

"Ack!" Meiling laughed sheepishly while scratching the back of her head. "It was nothing, Sakuya-chan."

"Right," Sakuya dismissed with a ghost of a smile on her face. "Come right this way, ladies." Beyond the door was a _very _large lobby. The floor of this spacious room was golden brown and the marble it was made of was flawless. There were at least fifteen different murals adorning the walls of this area. Six huge chandeliers hung from the ceiling overhead and one could tell from the visible staircases that this was the 'tower' part of the mansion. If anything, calling this place a ballroom is far more appropriate.

"Remilia-sama should be here shortly," announced Sakuya. "Once she's arrived we can congregate in the dining hall for tonight's feast."

Meiling sniffed the air. "Ooh. Is that garlic bread I smell?"

"Of course it is," Sakuya nodded. "No Italian dinner would be complete without it."

Koishi caught the scent as well. _**"Oh my gosh! It smells heavenly in th**_**ere."**

Rather ironic for a girl from hell for saying something like that.

"Good evening, friends." Someone announced from a corner of the ballroom. "That's quite a tantalizing scent emanating from the kitchen. I sure could go for a big feast tonight because I think my blood-sugar just fell."

"It's not that, Patchouli-sama," a mischievous voice sang. "You just haven't eaten anything in nearly two nights."

"Tch," the one called Patchouli responded. "I was so immersed in my readings that I must have lost track of time." Patchouli 'Patchy' Knowledge, The Great Unmoving Librarian, was nothing like her moniker suggested... specifically the unmoving part. She was a small cynical girl with long purple hair. Her hair was styled like that of a Far East princess and the longest of her bangs were tied with large blue bows. Her violet eyes were large but they seem narrowed because of her misanthropic nature. It was very difficult to tell whether she's a very small woman or a medium sized adolescent. She wore a simple sleeping robe; cream colored on the outer layer and white-purple striped on the inner layers. "Surely you understand, Koakuma."

"I can understand, Patchy-sama," Koakuma giggled while tilting her thin framed glasses. The mysterious (and sexy) girl was Patchouli's ever loyal familiar. Presumed to be a creature from hell, Koa was probably one of the easiest girls to get along with in Gensokyou. She's actually a succubus, and knowing that fact, she is indeed someone to look at. She was about Sakuya's height and build- only she was a tad shorter and having a bigger bosom. She has long dark red tresses with a pair of bat wings on the top of her head. Koa wore a black two piece business dress with a Victoria white blouse underneath it. The skirt part of her outfit was sub tight and rather short. Heading further south, she wore black thigh highs and a pair of dark brown loafers.

She looked very much like a fabled 'sexy secretary' that her threads suggested. "Those were rather steamy romance novels you were reading."

Patchy blushed. "Wow. Tell the entire world, why don't you?"

Koakuma's golden eyes gleamed mischievously and the wings protruding from her back fluttered. "It was rather cute, Patchy-sama. I don't see why not."

Sakuya took the opportunity to gather the two librarians' attention. "Ahem. Evening, ladies… We have a guest for tonight's meal. It would be nice that she doesn't catch the impression that you two are always bickering like siblings."

"Ah..." Patchouli gazed at Koishi for a moment. "Well what do you know? We have a satori among us. A rather powerful one at that."

"Huh?" Koakuma suddenly looked nervous. "Oh my gosh! Why haven't I noticed sooner? Concentrate..." Her mind suddenly went into a mantra: _Think un-sexy thoughts! Think un-sexy thoughts! Think un-sexy thoughts!_

Koishi noticed the shaky expression on Koakuma's face. _**"It's okay. You don't have to worry about me reading your minds. I am unable to do that if that's what you're thinking."**_

"Really?" Koakuma was astounded by this revelation. "You can't read anyone's thought? Seriously? Not even the ones from me about Patchy-sama having a big rack under her cloak?"

Patchouli's entire being became boiling red. "What? How do you kno- I mean, Koakuma! Stop speaking nonsense!"

From the corner of the librarian's eyes, she saw Sakuya glaring at her. _Got-damn it!_

Koishi gazed at Patchouli curiously.

Patchouli crossed her arms over her chest subconsciously.

And then, the devil herself arrived at last. "Good evening, ladies." Remilia greeted as she entered the lobby via a flying throne chair with large bat wings on it. Like a miniature version of Doctor Doom, she got off the chair and it disappeared once she was off of it. Her eyes widened in delight when she spotted Koishi. "Velcome to my abode... vat a beautiful evening this is! I am Remilia Andrea Scarlet, the Scarlet Devil and Eternal Queen of the Night. Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!"

_Remilia __**Andrea **__Scarlet?_ Koakuma, Meiling, Patchouli, and Sakuya thought coincidentally with a bad case of the skunk eyes.

On the other hand, Koishi was thinking, _Wow! Meiling was right. She does have pretty eyes. I thought she would look much different from the portrait in the hall but I'm glad I was wrong._

"_**Likewise.**_ _**It's very nice to meet you, Miss Scarlet." **_Koishi greeted, surprising Remilia a bit with her psionic voice. _**"My name is Koishi Komeiji, younger sister of Satori Komeji of Old Hell. I'm honored to be your guest."**_

A swaggering laugh escaped the little vampire. Game recognizes game. "Ah! Ah! Ah! Ve devils have to stick together. Am I right? Ah! Ah! Ah!"

There was something... odd about Remilia. And it wasn't her outfit for tonight. Sakuya reluctantly spoke up on the issue. "Umm... Remilia-sama?"

Remilia regarded the silver haired servant. "Hmm, vat is it, Sa-ku-ya?"

The other girls of the mansion noticed it too. Sakuya was the only one courageous enough to address the matter. "Forgive me if I seem a tad rude, but... I can't help but notice how raspy your voice is this evening. Are you coming down will an illness, MiLady?"

"Vat?" Remilia glared at the maid. "Vere did that question come from? Ve vampires never get sick. Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Girl, you're the vorst! Ah! Ah- holy shit!" Remilia's eyes suddenly gleamed in realization. She began coughing violently. "Kghk! Kghk! Guhghk! Gah!"

Patchouli grimaced. "That sounds like a rather nasty cough."

"Ya think?" Remilia rasped. "Ugh! Why didn't any of you tell me that I sounded like one of my ancestors?"

Sakuya smiled, feigning innocence as she fiddled her fingers together. "Admittedly, you sounded totally cute talking like that."

"Vat!" Remilia's hand suddenly went to her mouth in shock. Peals of laughter filled the lobby. "Stop laughing already! It slipped!"

Meiling was about to pass out from laughing. Patchy and Koakuma were giggling like gossip mongers. Koishi was nodding her head with a blushing smile on her face. And a guffaw escaped Sakuya. "Milady, you would indeed make an excellent arithmetic teacher."

Meiling couldn't resist. "Ah! Ah! Ah!"

Remilia was not amused. "Okay! Okay! Would you all stop lollygagging now? Let's head over to the dining room." She eyed the group and noticed it was all of the mansion residents and tonight's guest... so that would leave only one more person. Something gave the Scarlet Devil pause as a look of dread made a guest appearance on her face. "Hey, isn't my sister on her way?"

A red mist suddenly 'poofed' in the huge lobby. Speak of the de... well, her little sister. "You rang, Sis?"

Koishi sensed an ominous presence. It somehow reminded her of evil spirits back home... but not as sinister. The new presence may very well be more potent than any evil spirits she encountered in hell but it's not pure evil. _**"Hmm?"**_

Remilia addressed the presence with a sigh. "It's about time you've showed up, Flandre. What took you so long?"

"Oooh," Remilia's younger sister cooed. She had a novel of some sort in her hands. "Big Sis, what does 'running a train' mean?"

Everyone in the room blanched (including Koishi). Remilia sighed again. Flandre's gone through puberty recently (of the vampire variety). She had a feeling that Flandre knew what the term meant. She just thought her little sister was just teasing her with the innuendo. She cursed the day when Flandre was (inadvertently) introduced to romance novels and, dare say, manga. "Look Flan, I'm pretty sure you know what that phrase means."

Flandre Scarlet feigned innocence, all the while with an evil smirk on her face. "Ooh. I can't say that I remember."

That's it. Remilia had to help Flandre recall a particular incident a few years ago. "Flan, remember that night when me, you and Sakuya ventured out to the Misty Lake on a full moon? In fact, it was your birthday."

Recognition flashed across Flandre's features. "Ooh! I think I remember! Tee hee!"

**MISTY LAKE**

**TWO YEARS AGO**

"What a lovely night this is!" Remilia exclaimed as she gazes at the full moon. She, Flandre, and Sakuya were having a late night picnic on the shore of the Misty Lake. A small cloud of darkness slowly descended onto the scene and it somehow didn't see the tree it crashed into. No worries though, it was only Rumia's monkey ass. Nothing important people. "What do ya think, ladies? You agree with me?"

"Agreed. It's a wonderful night to be out for a picnic," Sakuya replied and then she took a bite off a slice of chocolate cake.

"Yep-yep! The big red moon is awesome!" Flandre sang and tossed a pebble at the lake. The pebble skipped along the surface of the lake at a very impressive speed. Then it exploded all of a sudden, causing a slight downpour. "Whoops!"

"Well... at least you're having fun, Flan." Remilia commented as she began drying out her mob cap.

"It is her birthday, Milady," said Sakuya. "And this is her party."

"And I can kyuu when I want to!" Flandre exclaimed. And then...

"I'm the strongest! I'm-"

**BOOM!**

"That's a thousand points!" Flandre announced in triumph. "Keeping it stylish! Kyuu for the win!"

Sakuya gave her applause. "Excellent kill, Flan-sama! And you have done it on Lunatic difficulty."

Remilia had a bit of sympathy for Flandre's victim. Emphasis on 'bit'… "Oh well. At least she has unlimited tries."

"That's a good one, Milady." Sakuya guffawed. She opened a bottle of tea and she nearly spilled it from giggling.

Flandre yawned and look at the stars in the cloudless sky. And then, a peculiar sight caught her attention. "Hey! Looks like I can rack up more points tonight!"

Remilia looked towards where her little sister was paying attention to. Several yards away she could see the forms of two animals among a patch of shrubbery. "Hmm. Wolves. I guess the beasts came out this evening to enjoy the sight of the moon as well."

Sakuya glanced at the wild dogs and then... "Wait. I don't believe tonight's moon would be the reason they venture out near the lake this evening." The maid's silver eyes narrowed in order to get a better view and her eyes suddenly registered surprise. "Eh! My goodness!"

Remilia noticed what the wolves were doing too. Her face suddenly colored red and steam escaped her ears. _They're humping! Oh no! I hope Flandre doesn't realize what's going-_

It was too late. The act piqued Flandre's curiosity. "Say, Big Sis, what are they doing over there? It looks like they're... wrestling."

_Got-damn it! A pox on those senseless hounds! Those beasts should be more discreet with their copulation! _Remilia really didn't want to put the burden on Flandre. She thought Flandre was not yet ready for the concept of the birds and bees. "Uh... shit... the wolf in the rear hurt his leg... and... uh... and the friendly wolf in the front is carrying him... yea," Remilia explained lamely. "That's... what friends are for." She glared at Sakuya for support. "Right Sa-ku-ya?"

The maid almost dropped the sweet potato she was munching on. "You would be correct."

Flandre brought her hand to her chin in deep thought for a moment. Over the years, the blonde vampire has developed a perception of the word 'friend'. Suddenly, a devilish grin appeared. She swiveled her glance towards both Remilia and Sakuya and said, "Damn. Isn't that just like a friend? You try to help out and he'll fuck you every time, won't he?"

**C-C-C-C-CHARISMA BREAKER!**

The sweet potato in the maid's hand hit the ground after all.

Remilia was deathly still and white as a sheet of paper. "Uuuuuu~..."

**SCARLET DEVIL MANOR**

**PRESENT**

Flandre was shrieking with laughter. "Gyah! Ha! Ha! Ha! I remember now! You were speechless, Big Sis! We left you standing near the lake for hours!"

Sakuya was blushing from the memory. "You totally looked like a deer after your sister's... sentiment that evening, Mistress."

"Right," Remilia said with a frown. "Children definitely grow up fast, don't they?" She stared at Flandre and took in her physical features... which has significantly changed since that incident from two years ago. Flandre has semi-long golden hair and it was still tied to a ponytail on the left side of her head. She wore a red sleeveless shirt with a whitish-pink shirt underneath it. The skirt she wore was the same color of her shirt. The younger vampire also wore her trademark pink mob cap. Her odd maverick wings were made of iron and there were polyhedron shards of multiple colors on each wing. Flandre was the younger Scarlet, but she has grown a tad bigger and taller than Remilia recently. A hint of jealousy hit Remilia. She could make out the small mounds on Flandre's chest area. The thigh highs on her legs didn't help either.

Perhaps what upsets Remilia the most about Flandre appearance was... "Flan... are you wearing garters?" She noticed the lacy bands that lined her sister's inner thighs. "Since when did you start wearing such gaudy undergarments?"

"Aw," Flandre pouted, regretting the fact that she chose to wear her skirt short. "I thought they would look cool on me, Sis. Besides, I'm a growing girl. I don't need to wear kiddy underwear anymore."

Sakuya's nose suddenly started bleeding. "Please excuse me, ladies." She announced and ran off towards the nearest bathroom.

Remilia sighed. Puberty was a wonder sometimes! "Ugh... whatever, let's go eat tonight's dinner." She suddenly noticed that Flandre was now staring at Koishi intently. "Right, I nearly forgot. Flandre, this is our guest. She will be joining us for dinner."

Koishi bowed to the younger vampire. _**"Good evening. I'm Koishi Komeiji. How do you-"**_

"Are you a new toy?" Flandre interrupted, a tad disoriented by Koishi's way of communication. "You're a strange one."

Koishi tilted her head, baffled at Flandre's bluntness. _**"Excuse me?"**_

"Hey. How are you talking to me when your mouth isn't moving?" Flandre wondered. "That's kinda weird."

"_**Oh! Right! Sorry to alarm-"**_

"You're doing it again!" Flandre shrieked with wide eyes. "Scary toy! You scare me!"

Remilia was immediately alarmed of Flandre's unease. "Flandre, she is not a toy."

"Then why doesn't she talk like normal people then?" Flandre wondered with her heart racing. Tch. She said 'normal'. Taste the irony.

"That's because she isn't like any of us, Flandre." Remilia tried to explain.

Koishi nodded, _**"Your sister is right, Flandre."**_

Flandre pointed a finger at the doomed satori. "You! Shut up!"

Both Patchy and Koakuma feared for Koishi's safety. Meiling made an effort to calm the little vampire's rage. "Flan-sama, don't worry. Koishi's pretty friendly. She's not scary at all."

Flandre was hugged from behind. Still, the feeling of Hong's luscious bosom on the back of her head didn't help. "Get those big balloons off of me, Meiling! I want her gone!"

Remilia gasped in horror. "Flandre! Now wait just a minute- GYAH!" She was suddenly knocked back by an unknown force from Flandre. "Flandre! Don't do it!"

The devil's little sister was now surrounded by an ominous aura. She glowered at Koishi with horrifying shining red eyes. "Scary girl, it's time for me to kyuu you!"

Koishi was understandably frightened. _**"Kyuu?"**_

Meiling tried to restrain Flandre but she too was knocked away. "What are you doing? This is wrong, Flan-sama!"

Flandre raised her fist before her. "It's time for me to break the scary girl!"

"_**No! Wait a minute!"**_ Koishi pleaded but her eyes grew in shock because of her body suddenly growing warm. It seemed like every fiber of her being is now getting hotter by the second. And like Flandre, there was a red aura enveloping her as well. Could this be the end of Koishi?

A horrible grin was on Flan's expression. "Kyuuuuu..."

"Welp..." Patchy gave her condolences. "It was nice knowing her."

Staring death in the face, Koishi began to cry. _**"Please! Please don't break me, Flandre! I wasn't trying to scare you! I don't want to die!"**_ She gasped in horror when she discovered that she was being levitated by Flandre's mysterious power. _**"Why are you doing this?"**_

Flandre frowned. There was a vein bulging on her forehead. "Kyuuuuuu!"

"_**I'm so scared!"**_

Something unusual was happening: Flandre was actually struggling to break the satori. "Kyuuu! Grr... Kyuuuu... Rrrrrrgh! **KKYYYUUUUUUU!**"

Remilia noticed this too as she bear witness to this event. _What in the world is going on? How is that girl still alive?_

Koakuma's eyes were giant white dots and she was panicking. Patchy, on the other hand, watched the event unfold before her eyes with morbid fascination. _This is rather peculiar. Isn't Flandre holding back? Or is it that- it can't be! Could that satori actually counter Flandre's wrath?_

Flandre's face was now covered in sweat and there was a large vein bulging on her hand. She almost cracked her fangs from gritting them so hard. "Why! Why won't you break already! Kyuuuu!"

Koishi eyes were clenched shut. Her body was smoldering hot by now. _**"SATORIIIIIII!"**_

A small explosion occurred. The 'kyuu' finally happened. However, Koishi fell back on the floor in one piece. She gazed down at herself and sighed in immense relief. She was unharmed. The 'kyuu' failed... but how was it possible? _**"Oh! Thank goodness!"**_

Flandre, on the other hand...

"Flan!" Remilia cried.

The devil's little sister was breathing smoke from her mouth. Her clothes were burnt and tattered. Flande stood as still as a statue with her head tilted to the left along with a look of pure disbelief on her face. "K-k-k... kyuuu...

"Flan!" Remilia shrieked as she noticed the horrible burns all over Flandre's body. "Flan, are you okay? Answer me, Flan!"

"Ugh..." Flandre grunted as her body made a sizzling sound. "She... she... kyuu-ed me instead, Sis." With a demented smile, the stronger Scarlet passed out.

_Absolutely astounding! _Patchouli thought while making a note of the event. _That girl actually managed to withstand Flandre's psychotic kyuu! _She gave Koishi a thumbs up. "Congratulations! You've managed to mindfuck even Flandre. I guess there's a first time for everything."

Remilia cradled Flandre in her arms and stared at Koishi in wonder. "You... you're really are from hell."

That memorable night, a great upset occurred within the Scarlet Devil Manor. Realizing what she had done, Koishi bowed to the mistress. _**"I'm sorry, Remilia. Please forgive me!"**_

**MYOUREN TEMPLE**

Kogasa Tatara waited for the mysterious visitor to approach the temple. She was well hidden in one of the many trees surrounding the place. "Byakuren-san said someone was coming over for a visit today," the karakasa giggled. The morning sun gave her a sort of a purple color. The sun has yet to rise over the horizon. "I dunno who's the visitor going to be but I bet she won't forget about me anytime soon." She suddenly noticed a figure at the bottom of the towering stairs. Perfect.

"Heh hee," Kogasa guffawed mischievously. "I'm going to scare the daylights out of her."

The turquoise haired girl bounded from tree to tree like a ninja. She could see that the visitor was wearing dark clothing and was carrying a large duffel bag. She was also carrying a purse and a strange rectangular object that had the label _Toshiba _on it. Though the equipment the stranger lugged with her were weird, Kogasa didn't care. It was time for the moment of truth!

"Wait for it... wait for it..." the karakasa couldn't believe her luck. This is going to be such an easy spook! The ghastly girl wore a teal colored vest and and skirt. Her sleeves were white along with the design on the lower part of the skirt. She didn't wear any long socks nor thigh-highs. Rather, she wore a pair of geta sandals. She has heterochromia and her red eye gave the her the effect of having one eye. There was also this large creepy umbrella that she carries around with her that has one eye and a large tongue sticking out from it's mouth.

Kogasa's victim was getting closer and her heterochromatic eyes narrowed in pure mischief. "Here goes nothing!" She hopped off a branch of a towering tree and began twirling in midair like a spiraling plane.

On the temple stairs, Sanae Kochiya was royally pissed. She did not want to move in with Byakuren and her youkai troupe. What in the hell Kanako was smoking on when she came up with the idea? Oh right, she was having a meeting with Byakuren. They both were probably getting high off Thai reefer... popping pills... or munching on weed cookies or something. "I can't believe this. The nerve of that woman." Sanae complained. "This is worse than the time when we relocated to these super-boonies in the first place."

And by 'super-boonies', she meant Gensokyou.

"And then, despite the ass-whooping we gave Kanako-sama last night, my great grandmother agreed to it." The bad girl in Sanae was talking now. "I mean, what happened while I was sleeping last night anyway? Did she bought some dope over to Suwako-sama as well?"

Midway towards the peak of the stairs, a turqouise blur invaded the miko's vision. There, right in front of her was a cute heterochromatic girl dressed in all teal. She was hovering upside-down and the inverted skirt of hers revealed her long shapely legs and red bloomers. The freakiest thing about this girl was the huge tongue of hers.

"URAMESHIYAAAAAAA!" Kogasa bellowed.

Sanae was not frightened, nor was she amused. A huge vein bulged near her temple and a sick smile made it's way to her face. "**You...**"

"Ah?" Kogasa took a moment to recognize the face underneath the hood. After realizing who it was, she suddenly looked like a deer. "Uh oooh..."

"Heh heh heh... good morning to you, too." Sanae chuckled darkly. "Something tells me that I'm going to enjoy my stay over here immensely."

Kogasa's mouth was agape like a scared infant. "No! I-I-"

Sanae snatched the ghastly cutie with one hand. "You're the stress relief that I so desperately needed, toots!"

**END OF CHAPTER TWO**

And so, the Wind Priestess moves into the Myouren Temple. What will she endure when she begins training with Hijiri? What about poor Kogasa? Will she live through Sanae's stay at the temple? And then there's Flandre. How will she behave now that she has been humbled for the first time in her entire life? Is she going to wrest vengeance on Koishi?

Hey! What about Yukari? She didn't get to explain why she allowed some technology in Gensokyou.

Reimu: That's right, Yukarin. You have some explaining to do.

Yukari: Not so loud. Gosh! My head's still hurting.

Reimu: We're all waiting for your explanation.

Yukari: Okay. Okay. I just wanted to introduce this land to digital media. That's all. Since a lot of missing dvds, television sets and other gadgets somehow ending up at Kourindou's, I don't see why not.

Reimu: I see.

Yukari: Just be thankful that I didn't introduce a public transport system nor fast food restaurants here.

Reimu: Fast food? I didn't know food had speed.

Yukari: Don't worry about it. Seriously, you're better off not thinking about it.

And there you have it: Yukari's explanation. Although she may go into details about it next chapter… Emphasis on the word 'may'.

Until next time! And I may consider crack-pairings in future chapters.


	4. Moriya To Myouren

Here we go again.

**TOUHOU PROJECT**

**2 And A Half Gods**

**CHAPTER THREE**

**From Moriya To Myouren**

After mere moments after arriving at Myouren Temple, the insanity has already begun. To start things off, there was a dose of irony. "Well... well... aren't you happy to see me?" Sanae said to the fidgeting girl over her right shoulder. "To be honest, this came as a surprise to me as well. I didn't know that you would be up this early in the morning to try and scare people."

Kogasa whimpered. "Put me down, meanie! And why are you here?"

"Actually, I'm going to be staying here with you guys for a while." Sanae replied with reluctance. "I'm kinda doing this against my will... but now that you're here, I don't think living here wouldn't be so bad."

"That's what I'm afraid of," Kogasa remarked. Hmm. Maybe this crazy miko had something useful in her duffel bag for Kogasa to use. The teal-colored girl struggled to unbind the duffel luggage. However, this immediately proved unsuccessful because Sanae did the unthinkable.

**SMACK!**

"Oww!" Kogasa was rubbing her offended butt. "What was that for?"

"Meh. No reason," Sanae remarked with a sly smile on her lips. Actually, she didn't appreciate the ghost girl trying to go through her duffel. "Keep struggling and I will slap you across your backside so hard that it will swell up to a size bigger than Kim, Jennifer and Nicki. Put together."

Kogasa haven't the foggiest idea of who they were but she complied. "Yes ma'am!"

Sanae was now standing before the torii entrance. The Myouren temple was right before her eyes. It was rather odd because it was actually the Palanquin ship integrated with the temple somehow. She has been here before. "So, what's it like living here?"

The sudden wonder caught Kogasa by surprise. "Huh? You mean living with Byakuren-san and the others?"

"No. I was talking about Acme Acres," Sanae giggled. The remark was sardonic, but the miko actually gave a cute laugh. That's just how crazy she is, Kogasa thought. "Of course I was talking about this place. It actually looks... kinda nice."

At least that was something they agree on. "Oh. I guess you're right."

"Well..." Sanae finally decided to put Kogasa back on her feet. "Isn't there anyone here that's awake besides you? The sooner I move in here, the better." She began to gaze around the scenery surrounding the temple. There were many trees - tall trees. They were mostly evergreen types if she wasn't mistaken. These beautiful plants would even stand strong and lush during the harshest winters. Sanae giggled when she spotted a sleeping macaque monkey on a high branch. "Cute."

While the Moriya priestess was taking in the scenery, Kogasa took a moment to analyze her. Sanae wasn't that tall, yet she was considerably taller than Kogasa. There was a glaring height difference between the two of them. The miko wasn't at all big, in fact she was rather slender. Yet there was a distinguishable size difference between them. Sanae was big at- what did people used to say- where it matters. Noticing this, Kogasa felt a bit of envy. The green haired youkai bully wasn't no where near as menacing as some youkai claimed her to be. _So pretty...is she really the descendant of a goddess?_

There was even a certain tengu that once mentioned that Sanae even looks like a goddess. Kogasa had to agree... to a certain extent, that is. The young woman of miracles was acceptably beautiful; round face, good hair, fit body, and mischievous eyes. Kogasa remembered when Sanae's amber eyes used to glint devilishly when she last saw her. _I __can't say the same for her evil eyes, though. They're bright but I already know that there's some mischief in em._

"Hey look!" Sanae suddenly alerted. "That monkey's about to fall from the tree!"

"Oh dear!" Kogasa frantically looked up in the trees for the said creature. "Where is the poor thing? Ack!"

Kogasa was suddenly held in a headlock. "Made ya look," the priestess guffawed. She was delivering a rather painful noogey, too. "Yoga. Yoga. Yoga. Yoga."

"Augh! That hurts!" Kogasa whined. "Someone help me!"

"_Woof! Woof!"_

Sanae paused Kogasa's torment. Awkward silence accompanied the brief mercy. "Didn't I hear a dog just now?" Sanae wondered. "Since when did you guys have a dog?"

"I didn't even know we had a dog." Kogasa managed to reply.

Sure enough, a black and white colored puppy appeared before the girls. If they weren't mistaken, it seems the little guy was defending the temple. _"Woof! Woof! Woof!"_

Sanae's amber orbs suddenly held stars in them. "Aww! That's a husky! It's so cute!" She released the karakasa's head and sprinted towards the puppy. "I always wanted a husky. You're as adorable as those guys on 8 Below."

"Say what?" Kogasa wondered with a slight look of disapproval. She was a cat person.

"Junpei!" A voice from the shrine called out. "Junpei! Where are ya, boy?"

"Over here," Sanae announced while cradling Junpei in her arms like a baby. "And he's just the cutest little thing!"

Shou was at the foyer of the temple. The godling's sudden presence was a little unexpected. So that's was what Hijiri meant when she told them that the shrine is going to have a visitor soon. The Moriya miko's visit must have something to do with Hijiri and Kanako's meeting yesterday. "Good morning. I see that you found Junpei. Nazrin found him wandering aimlessly in the woods yesterday."

Oh. So that's why Kogasa didn't know anything about a dog at the temple. Nazrin recently found him. She cursed the mouse youkai's ability to find lost items (and animals) right now. "Do you think that he belongs to anyone in the village?"

"Possible... but as of now he will live with us." Shou replied. "Myourenji welcomes youkai and humans. Animals are living beings too so I don't think it should be a problem to welcome them – especially a domesticated beast."

"Hey, cut it out!" Sanae emitted a high-pitched guffaw as the puppy began licking her face. "That tickles!"

On another note, having a puppy around during Sanae's visit may not be a bad idea. Kogasa was glad that Junpei was the center of the woman-child's attention right now. _I guess I should be thankful that he's here then._

"Ah. Good morning Sanae-san," Byakuren greeted as she appeared on the veranda. "You've arrived earlier than expected. I guess that you're anxious to be among us."

Sanae released the puppy. "Ah… you could say that. Anyways, it's an honor to meet you again and I'm looking forward to your teachings." Sanae bowed courteously. "I will be a prosperous student and may I endure your training to the best of my abilities."

"Very well," Byakuren replied approvingly. "I'm delighted to see that you show such devotion at your age. Kanako-sama has told me a lot of good things about you. I will be honored to be your teacher. I hope that it will bring our temple's relationship with the Moriya Shrine closer than before."

"Likewise Byakuren-san," Sanae shared the sentiment. "Anyways, when will I begin training?"

"Ah, you're eager…" Byakuren noticed the determination in the woman-child's eyes. "Perhaps you should settle inside for today. I think it's a good idea that you should get used to living here first. Then we can begin your regime whenever you're ready."

"Okay, that sounds fair enough," acknowledged Sanae.

"Then it's settled," Hijiri clasped her hands together in a friendly manner. "Go on ahead and situate yourself. You can move into Kogasa and Nue's room since there's plenty of room there."

Kogasa's heart fell. "What?"

"Hey, I can't argue with that," Sanae chimed with a _very _bright smile.

Kogasa's skin was pale. "But- Hijiri-san!"

"Ah, I'm off to the kitchen then," Byakuren said as she dismissed herself. "I'm going to help Ichirin with breakfast. If anyone needs me I will be there."

"I'll make the tea today," Shou announced as she followed the monk inside the temple.

"Aw dang it," Kogasa swore as dread filled her being. "Why me?"

"Don't worry," Sanae giggled. "I think it's going to be fun to share a room with you. Besides, I'm not going to hurt you." The priestess' smile suddenly held a sinister gleam, "Much…"

Kogasa suddenly feared for her health. To her, it was a nightmare at Myourenji.

"Oi… there you are, Kogasa," Nue grunted as she appeared at the doorway. Once she noticed the guest her expression darkened. "Tch… what the hell is going on here? More lowly life forms, much? You and that damned dog…"

Tension gathered around them at the little monster's jibe. Sanae gave a smile that masked her animosity. "Well, well, well… good morning to you too, Little Miss Space Invader."

A vein of anger bulged on Nue's temple. "My, now what did I told you about calling me an alien? If anything, you're the alien here, kid. Besides, one armpit miko is enough in this weird ass realm."

Sanae maintained her sickening sweet smile. "The Predator called; he wants his pole arm back."

_So it's like that, huh? Two can play this game, _Nue though as she produced a false smile of her own. "How cute… now run along before something bad happens to you, **little** girl."

Kogasa sensed the hostility between the girls. "Uh… guys…"

"I doubt that anything bad will happen to me," Sanae replied. "I am a **woman** of miracles, after all."

"Of course, look at those huge udders on your chest," Nue indicated enviously. "I guess you have a pair of miracles there. You kids grow up quick."

"Oh dear! Looks like Betty Boop is going to get herself bopped," Sanae remarked darkly, slowly fishing out her gohei from her pocket.

"Ha! That's rich!" Nue chuckled cruelly. "Girl, I just love it how my middle finger gets a hard-on when I'm dealing with your stupid ass!"

Kogasa gasped. "That wasn't very nice, Nue-chan."

"Well…" Sanae mused darkly as she approached Nue. "I don't know you like that but I suspect that your middle finger's isn't the only thing that's getting a hard-on right now." She stood before the undefined girl proudly. There was a height difference between them; Nue only reached the mortal girl's chest at full height. "I mean… you are the mysterious Heian Alien. Who knows what's going up down there…" Her golden eyes gazed at the dark youkai's lower body – questioning Nue's womanhood (?).

Nue suddenly blushed. "Watch it now… you're going to get yourself hurt."

"Am I, Nue?" Sanae challenged, staring into the nue's red eyes. "That's what you said last time. You can't hurt me. I'm not bound by common sense."

"That would explain why you're trying my patience, huh? I'll be happy to reintroduce common sense to you." Nue warned. "You'll thank me."

"Uh, Nue-chan…" Kogasa whimpered.

"Your cute little friend is concerned for your safety," Sanae jibed. "You better back down while you still can."

"Nue…" Kogasa repeated.

"That's not the case. She's more concerned about the punishment I'm about to inflict on you if you don't get outta my face." Nue retorted.

Kogasa was morbidly concerned now. "Nue!..." She pointed towards the nue's feet.

Nue gasped, looked down at her feet, and sure enough, Junpei was there with his hind leg raised. "Got-damn it! NOT AGAIN!"

A split second later, the tranquility of Myourenji was shattered by the sounds of Sanae's laughter and Nue's high-pitched screams of disgust.

**MORIYA SHRINE**

An eerie silence reigned between the two goddesses. Suwako had a bandage on her cheek and Kanako's shirt was in tatters. The younger goddess' sarashi was visible. They've both spent a majority of the morning beating the suffering Shanghai outta each other. Suwako disapproves of Kanako's decision and she expressed it via fisticuffs. Kanako, on the other hand, didn't give a damn about the elder god's opinion and she has no regrets about it whatsoever. Sanae was their weakest link. There was consternation among the old women.

Suwako spoke for the first time in hours. "Stupid…"

Kanako gazed at her ancient frienemy in mild surprise. "Excuse me?"

"Where did I go wrong with you?" Suwako nodded her head like a grieving old woman. "You're so stupid, Kanako."

"Hey, you're going to stop talking to me like I'm your damn child." Kanako swore. "Do you want another knuckle sandwich? Keep bad-mouthing me and I'll be glad to give it to you!"

Suwako stood up from her spot near the kotatsu. "Just what in blazes is wrong with you, Kanako? With you sending off our Sanae like that all of a sudden? You were much MUCH smarter when you were a child! Now anything you puff outta your old ass brain cells are nothing but bad ideas. It's one dick move after another with you now!"

"Well excuse me, ole high and mighty river frog," Kanko rebutted, clearly affronted by Suwako's harsh words. "I do seem to remember that it were my ideas that we still exist in the first place! Moan and complain all you want, but you are thankful for what I've done for us."

"Kanako… nothing lasts forever," Suwako replied sagely. "Us, humans, youkai, nature… we all will fade from existence someday. Auuu-uuu – even immortals and planets die. It's all just a matter of when. You should know this better than anyone."

"Oh-ho! You spat that very same line of rubbish to me when I was sixteen!" Kanako defied. "I'm glad that you were a mentor to me but hearing that now is ridiculous!"

"Kanako…"

"Speaking of ideas, I should be kicking your hide for your agenda with Old Hell," the storm goddess reminded. "You've pretty much called the kettle black when you threw the first punch."

"Oh yea!" Suwako spat back. "What about the nuclear plants down there, huh? And let's not forget about what you did to that poor raven when you convinced her to devour Yatagarasu."

"My motives are for a good cause. Yours, on the other hand, are pure bull-"

Kanako's rebuttal was intervened by a pleasant voice at the front door. "Hello? Is anyone presents at the moment?"

"I don't think that this is a good idea, Satori-sama," another voice followed. "Maybe we should head back and reconsider our plan in the search for Koishi-sama."

"I'm sorry Orin, but I'm afraid that this may be the best course of action for us," the first voice replied.

"They're here," confirmed Suwako. She gave Kanako a quick glare. "You're indecent. Go put on a shirt already."

"Don't be surprised if your plan doesn't go the way as you intended," Kanako whispered before she ambled off to her room.

"Hello?" Satori continued.

"Ah, just a moment," Suwako announced and opened the door for the guests. "Good morning! I'm glad that you were able to come over for a visit. I know of you but I'm afraid that we've never met before. I'm Moriya Suwako, the patron god of this shrine. It's nice to meet you."

"Yes, likewise…" Satori Komeiji bowed, mentally squealing. The revered Highest of the Native Gods was not what she expected! For a moment, Satori thought that they arrived at the wrong place. She fought back the urge to snatch the little girl in her arms and cradle her like an infant. She couldn't believe that this… child was the very mountain god that she read so much about. She couldn't believe that little blonde was partly responsible for giving Utsuho her terrifying power. "I am Komeiji Satori, ruler of Old Hell."

Satori was a pretty girl; short pink hair, wide violet eyes, and a moon face. Her eyes were warm but they tell a story of countless hardships and grinded knowledge – ultimately giving her eyes a somewhat cynical look. Satori wore a baby blue long-sleeved blouse with golden heart-shaped buttons adorning down the center of it. Her pink skirt was flimsy and it reached past her knees. She wore bobby socks and pink sandals on her small feet. The most eccentric of Satori's appearance was an eyeball that hovered about her body like an odd stethoscope. Like Koishi, her third eye was attached to her by a thick string that was red-violet in color. Whether the string was organic or not, it was difficult to figure out. Her small, slender stature gave her a delicate disposition but she was not to be underestimated. She is a youkai, after all.

Kero-chan noticed the taller girl besides Satori. "And who might you be?"

Orin reluctantly replied (thanks to a glare from Satori). "I'm Kaenbyou Rin, but you can call me Orin." Despite having a more imposing stature, Orin was the subordinate. Hell's Traffic Accident was a mischievous beauty. The kasha was a red-haired girl with **four **ears (one pair cat and the other human). Her semi-long hair was done in braided pigtails. She wore a long dark green dress that somewhat showed her bodily shape. Orin's forked tail was a telltale sign that she's a kasha. "I'm Satori-sama's right-hand girl!"

After the catgirl's introduction, the diminutive deity beckoned them inside. "Please come inside. I'll prepare tea for you two."

"Much appreciated, Moriya-sama," Satori replied as she entered the shrine with Orin. A scowl was imprinted on Orin's face. To hear her master refer to someone as 'sama' was absolutely weird to her. She chose not to voice her opinion.

Suwako lead the girls to the kotatsu. "Have a seat, children. I'll be back in a moment with your drinks." She announced and made her way to the kitchen.

The moment Suwako was out of sigh, Satori was blushing madly. "Orin, can you believe this? That child's a god. Not just any god, she's the very one that ruled a nation in ancient times."

"Really?" Orin was skeptical. "That kid was the one that tamed the Mishaguji? To be honest, Satori-sama, she's not what I expected her to look like. She's kinda… I dunno… underwhelming. Plus, that hat of hers give me the creeps."

"She's totally adorable!" Satori squealed. "Yet, I share your sentiment, Orin. Her appearance comes as a surprise to me as well. Even my earliest ancestors knew of her and make no mistake: she did single-handedly subjugated the Mishaguji."

"Wow…" Orin managed.

"And that's not all," Satori's giddy smile vanished as her tone grew serious. "I must tell you something else about her."

Curious, Orin thought, '_What is it?'_

Satori suddenly appeared nervous as she told her pet a shocking revelation. "I can't read her mind. Not a single thought was read from her."

The kassha's red eyes widened in shock, "Sufferin' Succotash!"

Inside the kitchen, the girl in question was giggling to herself. "I'm sure that child realizes that she cannot read my mind right now. The poor baby… She just don't know: I've been spooking the her kind with a divine mind for a long time."

"What are you up to now?" Kanako wondered as she appeared in the kitchen. She found a black shirt to wear. "I swear, Suwa, you're always up to mischief."

Suwako feigned innocence. "Mischief, you say. I haven't the foggiest idea of what you're talking about, Kana-chan."

Kanako narrowed her eyes in confirmation. "So you **are** up to no good."

"Don't be ridiculous," Suwako dismissed with a giggle. "Anyways, remember the time when a satori girl was wandering around the shrine?"

"Why yes, I remember her," said Kanako. "It was about a month after the Evil Geyser incident when she appeared. She was the younger sister of Chireiden's queen if I'm not mistaken. Sanae said that she's missing again, am I right?"

"Of course, and the queen is sitting in the den right now." Suwako revealed. "I told her pet to give her my message and that explains the reason for her visit. I'm going to negotiate with that child about my plan to gather faith from the spirits of Old Hell if we were to find her sister."

"Your plan sounds a little too far fetched, Suwa." Kanako opined. "I don't think that there's nothing good will come out of this."

"Aw, what's wrong, Kana?" Suwako grinned as she poured green tea into a pair of cups. "Don't tell me that you're scared of a few evil spirits and demons? Don't make me laugh. I used to eat demons for breakfast back in the days."

"Very well, let's just hope that you can 'eat' those evil beings if things go south." Kanako warned. "I sure hope that you know what you're doing."

"Your concerns are in vain." Suwako remarked as she grabbed the tray of teacups from the table. "Now if you excuse me, I have guests to tend to."

**MYOUREN TEMPLE**

"Hmm…" Sanae searched behind a bookshelf in the room. "Don't tell me that you guys don't have any power outlets in this place. If I already knew that then I should have left my laptop at the shrine."

Kogasa was at the other side of the large room. She was twirling her umbrella nervously. "Power outlets? What are those?"

"One of the many things that can make life much easier," Sanae grunted as she moved a potted plant. "Looks like I won't be using my laptop while I'm here then. I'm… okay with this. I can stay off Fiddle, Headnotes, and YouTube for a while. There's nothing to it."

Kogasa didn't know what the hell Sanae was talking about but she nodded anyway. "I see…"

Sanae opened her duffel bag. "I'm glad that I brought snacks and some extra clothes. Have you ever eaten Pocky before?"

"Pocky?"

"Yea, it's a pretty nice snack." Sanae said as she opened a box of the said treat. "It's the chocolate flavor." She offered the karakasa a stick. "Here, try one."

Hoping that it's not another one of Sanae's pranks, Kogasa reluctantly took one of the chocolate treats from the box. Once she took a bite out of it, her face glowed in delight. "Hey, this is pretty tasty!"

"Have another."

"Don't mind if I do!" Kogasa obliged, grabbing two more chocolate sticks.

"Atta-girl!"

"Say, what is this about? You two are getting along now?" Nue commented when she entered the room. She was carrying her now clean thigh-highs and shoes. Her legs were bare, which is one of her greater assets. "You have a weird relationship, you know. I'm not going to waste my time worrying about it though."

Sanae gave Nue the skunk-eye and nudged Kogasa on the ribs. "Someone's crabby about getting pissed on like an R. Kelly video vixen."

"I heard that!" Nue scolded, placing her clothes in the closet. "I don't know who this R. Kelly is, but he sounds pretty nasty. Besides, I do not appreciate being pissed on by that mutt again."

"Wait," Kogasa wondered. "This isn't the first time that Junpei drizzled on you?"

"No," Nue growled as her wings slithered in indignation. "Nazrin needs to take that little fleabag back to where she found him."

"Oh, you mean Minnie Mouse!" Sanae jibed.

The nue's eyes became checkmarks. "Who in the fuck is Minnie? Would you please stop blurting out random names? It's annoying!"

Sanae smirked. "If you say so…"

"And why are you're in our room in the first place?" Nue demanded.

"Oh, didn't you know?" Kogasa replied in the godling's stead. "She's going to live with us for a while. And Byakuren-san wants us to share our room with her. I'd thought she told you about that already."

"Kogasa's right," Sanae commented as she removed her hoodie. "I'm officially a student of Hijiri-san. You might as well get used to having me around."

Nue's mouth hung open in shock. "Oh no… Hell to the no!" She cursed after an awkward moment. "What is the meaning of this? You mean to tell me… that I have to share a room with this thing! ?"

"Hey!" Sanae cried, clearly affronted by the statement.

The undefined girl began pulling on her hair. "Hijiri has lost her ever-loving mind!"

"I know how you feel, Nue-chan." Kogasa muttered.

"Hmm!" Sanae scowled at the poor heterochromatic girl. "What was that?"

"Tee-he!" Kogasa gave off a huge false smile with her pearly whites on display. "Nothing…"

"Damn it! What did I do to deserve such punishment?" Nue bemoaned. "First, that annoying little yamabiko moved in, next is that mutt Nazrin found, and now you're living in my room! This is some bullshit!"

"Aw, don't fret, Nue." Sanae made a cute face that would have made Suwako proud. "I believe that you will come to like having me around. I'm not as bad as you think. Besides…" she took notice of Nue's feet. "You have such cute little feet! And your nails look perfectly manicured! I'm jealous!"

Nue blushed. "W-what are you on about? I wash my feet every day and I never polish them. It's nothing special."

"That's interesting. For the record, I don't have any weird feet fetishes but your feet are incredibly pretty!" Sanae commended as her eyes sparkled.

The nue was beet-faced now. "Stop praising my feet! You're creeping me out!"

"Don't believe it," a high pitched voice suddenly echoed from outside the room. "Nue's totally into that kinky kinda stuff! She is a raging lesbian, after all!"

"Argh! You lie, you little mountain gremlin!" Nue yelled and snatched a hardback book from the shelf. She roughly slid open the door and chucked the book with all of her might. "Take that!"

**POW!**

"Ugh!" There was now an unconscious body of a little girl outside the temple. She was sporting a rather nasty looking bruise on her forehead.

"Kyouko-chan!" Kogasa cried as she sprinted towards the comatose loudmouth. She kneeled down on her knees and cradled the yamabiko in her arms. "You threw the book too hard at her, Nue-chan!"

"That's the point!" Nue remarked without remorse.

Sanae cringed. "That HAD to hurt. She's going to have that mark for awhile."

**SUWA KINGDOM – MANY CENTURIES AGO**

"Ugh…" the tall silver haired woman grunted as she gathered herself to her feet. She wiped a trickle of blood from the corner of her lips. "To think… that all the gods that I fought against… for the so-called liberation of this island…" Her breathing was labored and the blood from her wounds soaked into rainwater riddled floor. "I never would have imagined that I would lose to you."

The teenaged victor stood bravely before the mighty earth goddess. The shrine was littered with the bodies of the dead and injured and many of the steel weapons were rendered useless. The seventeen year old was soaked from the torrential downpour. "I'm sorry…" she uttered.

"You don't have to apologize," the silver haired woman chided. She wobbled on her sore legs and fell on her butt. "I've never felt such pain in years. Nor have I sustained injuries like this. It's been so long since I've seen my very own blood."

The purple haired girl tilted her head in sorrow. "Moreya…"

Moreya ignored the child's words, fascinated by the sight of her blood on her hands. "I can hardly believe it!" Her violet eyes widened in morbid fascination. "I have never felt so alive in years! The aches… the searing pain… I can feel my adrenaline and blood burning through my veins!"

Moreya's lunacy seemed to by punctuated by the suddenly flash of lightning. The bolt struck a nearby tree and it caught on fire. "Moreya, too many people has died because of this war. I'm tired of fighting. I want to put an end to this."

Moreya hugged herself as her body rocked with dark chuckles. "You're exceptionally strong, my former student. The Yamato was wise to choose you. They've played their cards right. Fufufufu…"

"Why did you fought against us, Moreya? The Yamato wanted peace. Why did you start this war?"

"I didn't start any war!" Suwako Moreya replied truthfully. She pulled a blade out of a dead youkai and watched the useless weapon crumbled in her hands. "It was them that wanted bloodshed, Kanako. Those manipulative heathens! It was I that saved them from the Mishaguji! I saved every last one of those cowards with my power alone!"

"You lie, Moreya!" Kanako cried, unfurling an enchanted vine that was wrapped around her forearm. "The others gods said that every since you subjugated the Mishaguji, you were on the brink of tyranny! That power made you insane!"

"You're wrong," Suwako retorted in an unusually calm tone. "They feared me because I reign over the Mishaguji. Why should they fear me in the first place? I helped them! I have them all under my control but I discovered a startling, horrifying realization: they wanted the Mishaguji for themselves!"

Lightning struck again as Kanako denied her former mentor. "That is not true!"

"That's true and you know it! It's the hard truth!" Suwako revealed and stood on her feet again. "You should know me by now, Kanako. I'm a teacher – reach one, teach one. I would rather hurt you with the truth than to comfort you with a lie. Your precious wars gods were planning on total domination if they managed to obtain the Mishaguji! They would wage war with every civilization of the world! And they would even go as far as warring with other gods from lands unknown!"

"I DON'T BELIEVE YOU!" Young Kanako shrieked as a bluster of wind erupted from her hand. Suwako was carried away by the sudden gust and crashed into her vine-covered throne.

"Ugh!" Suwako grunted. The pain on her back was almost unbearable. "Damn you, child! Can't you see how they're manipulating us? Look all around you: there's nothing but bodies of youkai soldiers and faithless gods. There are huge losses on both sides! Do you understand the devastation, Kanako? If this keeps up, then one of us will be killed as well!"

"Yes, Moreya. You shall die this day." Kanako declared as a tornado swirled around her. Her black robes were just as dark as the storm she manifested. Her long violet hair blew ominously in the fierce winds. "The price for peace is often high. Once I get rid of you, this nation will be liberated."

Suwako Moreya smiled sardonically in the face of death. "Very well… if I am resigned to this fate then I have no choice but to accept it. Anything's better than being under the heels of those treacherous fools."

"I've had enough of your blasphemy, you old dictator!" Kanako swore, readying the vine in her grasp like a whip. "It ends here, **former **mentor!"

"No!" A high-pitched voiced shrilled, followed by the sounds of sloshing water. Seconds after the pitter-patter of little feet over water, a small dark-haired girl stood before Kanako. "I won't let you do it!"

Suwako gasped at the sight of the little girl. "No! Run away!"

Kanako glared at the child in pure disbelief. A seven year old girl was standing before her in a challenge. The child's long hair was black and tears streamed from her equally dark eyes. She wore a simple blue yukata with a symbol of a swirl on the bottom of it. "What is this?" Kanako demanded. "You're using a child to defend you? I pity you even more, Moreya!"

"No, Kanako! She's an innocent!" Suwako shrieked. "Don't you dare harm her!"

Kanako gave the girl an ultimatum. "Step aside!"

"No I will not!" The little girl denied with her arms out.

"You're trying my patience, little one!" Kanako warned.

"Baby, you have to make a run for it!" Suwako yelled. "You don't have anything to do with this!"

"I won't leave you behind, Miss Moreya!" The child reassured.

"That's enough out of you!" Kanako dispelled her storm and stood before the child menacingly. She towered over the girl by nearly two feet. "You run along now! What are you doing here in a bloody battle is beyond me."

"I can't run away! There's so much misfortune around here right now," the child replied as her eyes suddenly glowed a sinister shade of violet. "It's all over this place and you are covered in it! The misfortune surrounds you like a fog!"

"No… it can't be," the young storm goddess was shocked. "Don't tell me that you're one of them!"

"She's not part of the Mishaguji, Kanako." Suwako revealed as she rolled off her throne. She pitifully crawled towards the little girl and cradled her. "Please, don't hurt her. She's merely a baby curse goddess. You wouldn't hurt a child, would you?"

A moment of silence reigned over the three goddesses for a long moment. The only things heard were the roar of the heavy rain and the crackling of burning trees. "I'm sorry, my former teacher…" Kanako made a sad expression. "If the girl is affiliated with you then I have no choice but to punish her as well."

"The war gods has twisted you, Kanako!" Suwako cursed. "Can't you see that?"

"Shut up and die!" Kanako brandished the enchanted vine again.

"Why do we have to die?" The little girl asked Kanako. "Miss Moreya hasn't done anything to you. She's a very nice person. She was keeping everyone safe! Why does she have to die?"

Suwako held the little girl tighter. "Baby… nothing lasts forever. Everything will eventually fade from existence. We all must go through this."

"You told me the very same thing last year." Kanako reminisced. "It's ironic that you're saying it now at a time like this. I guess that you're willing to accept death." Lightning struck once again. This time a tree was wet ablaze and it fell towards the trio of divinities. "What in the world is going on here?" Kanako gasped as she jumped out of harms way. The conflagrating tree separated her from Suwako and the child. "The curse child! She's doing this!"

The eerie glow in the child's eyes was gone. "So unfortunate…"

"Well, it looks like this isn't the end of me," Suwako said as she clasped her hands together. She performed a spiritual mudra and a violet aura enveloped her body. "Mishaguji!"

Soon enough, the serpentine gods appeared behind Suwako and the child. The silver beast was humongous! Even though it was transparent like a huge apparition, its presence was very real. **"You have summoned us and we answered your call****," **it spoke in a deep menacing voice that only Suwako can hear. **"What can we do for you, Suwako-sama?"**

"Mishaguji! Take us away from this place!" Suwako implored. "I'm worn and weary from this bloodshed. Relocate us to a village far away from this battlefield!"

Kanako heard Suwako's command from the other side of the tree. "No! You're not getting away from me!" She took to the sky and immediately manifested a hurricane. "DON'T YOU RUN FROM ME, MOREYA!"

"I'm scared!" The little girl cried.

"**Very well. We shall take you to safety," **the Mishaguji declared and it began roaring. It opened its mouth wide and swallowed both the earth goddess and the child of misfortunes. It slithered away from the devastation and vanished in many motes of light.

Once Kanako realized that they were gone, she clenched her fist in absolute fury. Her fist was clenched so tight that blood oozed from it. "Curse you, Moreya," she swore as her voice rose in anger. "This isn't over!"

**END OF CHAPTER THREE**

That should do it for this chapter. This chapter isn't as long as I originally intended but it'll do. At least it's over six thousand words. I've lost this chapter twice. The first time to a sudden power failure and the second to a corrupted boot sector on my laptop. It was a pain to get back to this. Anyway, everyone should know who the little girl is by now. And with that, we end this episode. Take care, readers. Be blessed.

**NEXT CHAPTER:**

**Suwako's Agenda**


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